Christian resources on identity and spiritual growth for single moms
A collection of post focused on building a foundation for your identify by improving relationship with self, confidence, emotional well being, and purpose. Christian resources created to impact your God-given identity and spiritual growth.
Health Month continues, and I feel like this week is one of my favorites. This week, we are focused on mental/emotional health. And if you have been around long enough, these two aspects of health I talk about often. We have felt so much in so little time with little control over our experiences—all the reasons why I encourage you to honor your feelings in 2021 more than ever. (more…)
So you may have heard already that May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And I am a big advocate for this month as I have and currently deal with anxiety, which has spiked due to our current climate as a culture and country. But one thing I found to be a common denominator of most mental challenges is the disconnect from a sense of belonging, acceptance, and being understood. (more…)
Hey Ladies! Hopefully, the holidays have served you well in 2020. I want to wish you a Happy New Year full of blessings and favor in 2021. The first post of this year is all about you and what you want to get out of this year.
I had the time of my life this past weekend speaking on a topic that has plagued my life for years. During the Single Moms Of Faith Virtual Conference by Chere of @faithcoffeeandakid, I received the honor of co-presenting the “Stop Being A Yes Girl” session this past Saturday. Even though most of it was a blur, I am so grateful for the opportunity to share my message. Being a Yes Girl is so exhausting but with the power of NO, you can take back control of your time, energy, and life. (more…)
There has always been conversation about positive self-talk, negative self talk, and why we should be mindful of what our inner dialogue is. And I get it, there has been an unbalance of the pendulum with negative talk becoming the norm. But I was so elated when I found out about the power behind affirmations. You can have affirmations for whatever you need. This post here is on a set of confidence affirmations I’ve used over the years to help me work on my confidence.
No matter how you identify yourself, there is a quote for you. Quotes are a large part of my life and they have helped with my own development of confidence, courage, and self-love. Hearing the words of great people has often inspired me to step into my full potential. Self-confidence quotes are the best! (more…)
Anyone who knows me, knows that I love music and dancing. I feel that in my innate being, music was given to me to appreciate it’s beauty and creativity. For years, I’ve listened to all kinds of music but inspirational songs I love the most. (more…)
Most times when you think about confidence, you think I am already confident. Why do I need to improve? Confidence is not a destination, it’s a part of you that needs nurturing. So, improving your confidence is essential. (more…)
Get ready for the confidence overload this month. As a new found reader, I have been indulging in books and going into debt because of Amazon’s easy one click order process. It gets me in trouble everytime. Books on confidence is my new craze. (more…)
Okay Ladies! It’s time! Time to leave what does not serve you behind. It’s time to move forward toward your future and to no longer remain stuck in the past but starting to move toward being present today. It’s time! (more…)
I can’t believe I’ve been on this earth for 30 years already. As much as I was dreading this birthday leading up to this day, I am grateful for the 30 lessons before turning 30 that came along with this journey. (more…)
As you all know, becoming a mom can come with it’s fair share of challenges. Outside of the dirty diapers and toddler tantrums, we can find ourselves losing our identity in the mix. With Pinterest moms killing the game and happy social media moms posting their family trip pictures, being a mom (whatever you identify with) can seem like an everlasting battle for self-confidence and esteem. (more…)
To the woman that I thought I wouldn’t have to see anymore. We meet again. But not necessarily on bad terms but I know you’re in desperate need of being healed and encouraged again.
You’ve been doing your thang. Rocking motherhood in the best way you can and walking in a confidence I haven’t seen in awhile. But you haven’t been sleeping well at night , tossing and turning every hour on the hour. Something is heavy on your heart. Something you can’t explain. It makes you want to cry so bad but you know tears only last for a moment. It makes you want to scream and yell but you know no one is listening. You are in desperate need of change, transformation and shifting. Every part of you is crying out and searching for a home.
You talk to God out loud, in your writing and in your thoughts. But it seems that you’re not getting out what you really want to tell Him. Your heart is moaning because it’s broken. Your heart is bruised and tired from all your fighting. You ask yourself why this is happening again. This was supposed to be the best year of your life you say. The best time to usher in your 30’s on a high note but instead you’re back at square one healing all over again. This life is full of divide, hate, isolation, frustration, and sickness right now. I know you are trying your best not to fall into the world wind.
In this letter, I want to speak life into you and encourage you, every part of you. If you don’t mind. I want to see healing and growth come from this, you don’t below here. I am reaching my hand to you in the pit of today and pull you out untouched. Read my words but most importantly hear my heart.
I understand the frustration you feel for having to defend something you can’t control. The stares you’ve endured and the unsaid judgements you’ve had to intuitively feel. You are a black woman and I don’t want you to ever feel afraid to embrace it. God made you this way because he had a purpose for it. He doesn’t see you as a black woman but as His friend, child, chosen one, and legacy. Your black is beautiful so let that wound be healed. Remember what was said in Proverbs 31:29.
I really do understand your silence. The part of you that honestly doesn’t know what to say. But a part of it seems in fear because you’re so tired of being misunderstood. I know you’re tired of having a target on your back. Your voice matters. Your words, your opinions, and your encouragement matter. Someone needs you to STEP UP.
You were chosen for such a time as this. Hold firm to your faith and hold firm to your beliefs. Never let anyone change what you know to be true. Many will not understand your path or even persecute you for it. But this is so much bigger than this world. Hold tight to your eternal life. Prioritize your spiritual health.
Just because you’re single, that doesn’t mean you’re alone. Embrace your single journey. Learn what you need to learn and do what you want to do. Work on being healed, whole, and holy. Single is just a status, not a death sentence.
Avoid the urge to think less of yourself because you are raising your child by yourself right now. You are so much stronger than you think. Use this assignment to steward your child and not send another generation out searching and seeking healing from the answers you already have inside you. Your child adores you and don’t you forget that.
I know this is one area you try to avoid. You need to know that where you are planted is for a season. Focus on learning what needs to be learned from this place of work and move on when the spirit leads you. You need to learn to trust people again. Not everyone is out to destroy your name and your character. Some people just want to see you succeed. Do you want to see yourself succeed?
People may not understand why you’re so playful and goofy all the time. They may not ever get to know you like I do. You are a gem and bring so much laughter and joy to anyone you’re around. Life may put the squeeze on you to the point that you burst with laughter and that’s what I admire about you. Your laugh can relieve the pressure on other’s mind, body, soul, and spirit. Laugh until you can’t anymore.
Lastly, love on your mind. You see it as your greatest enemy but I see it as your greatest treasure. Your mind has always been wired to do good, to serve others, and to help change people’s viewpoint. But for years, you had no idea how to master your mind. So for so long, your mind mastered you.
Heal darling, so the world can be blessed by your amazing mind. Embrace and never forget who you are. I say all this because the world is waiting for you, the Kingdom needs you. You are cherished more than you know.
Love,
Self
Usually I don’t enjoy starting my blog post about the pains of the times; however, we are seeing a significant turn of events. There is boldness being used for good, but there’s a whole lot of boldness being used for bad. Some people use it to take from and hurt others. But on the other hand some are using their boldness for a good cause. Whatever your perspective is with being bold, I encourage you to take another look.
For years, I have struggled with my confidence and often shied away from doing bold things. Just imagine little Chyna in grade school, having an answer to the teacher’s question but not daring to raise her hand in front of the class.
Or teenage Chyna, having no true interest in partying and drinking, but not speaking up and being confident enough to be different. What about adult Chyna? Frustrated with how a guy is treating her in a relationship, but not saying anything in fear of losing companionship.
Life was taking a nasty turn with all the decisions, steps, and conversations I was not risking. After having Avah and starting my journey as a single mom, I knew I had to make a change so I could be a better example for her and also break the toxic cycle I was on.
Keep reading…
Boldness is important for so many reasons. Boldness is the willingness to take risks and innovate with courage and confidence. It is the opposite of being fearful and a key ingredient toward success. It is not pushy, loud, or bossy. Boldness:
For some it comes easy to them and for others, like me, we struggle. This struggle can stem from a number of reasons:
In the bible, God demands us to live and walk in boldness. God often describes us (the righteous) as having the boldness of a lion (Prov. 28:1) and we all know that the lions are the leaders of the Pride land. ( I love Lion King!)
God wants us to preach the gospel and serve the kingdom with boldness and without hindrance. (Acts 28:31) It is even confirmed that we gain our confidence and boldness through our faith in Him. (Ephesians 3:12)
In Acts 4, there was even a prayer put forth for boldness by the apostles. God desires us to be bold in all we do within His will.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
That’s why I took the time to break down the 7 keys to walking in boldness and asking for what you want out of life as a single mom. I have worked through each key in my own way as I have been creating the life I want as a single mom.
This is first and foremost the most important aspect of asking for what you want. How are you going to come boldly if you’re in a state of unknown or uncertainty? Whether it’s a relationship, job, life, or the menu at a restaurant, it is important you do the necessary thought work to be able to identify your specific needs.
I was the queen of not checking with God regarding what I wanted in various areas of my life. My whole thought process was that this is minimal and that I don’t want to bother God with this. Such a wrong way to perceive God. Take your need to His Word and see if this aligns with the morals and instructions He has laid out for you in those areas. If you can’t find it in the Word, discuss it with a close spiritual friend that will be able to walk with you through your process.
I will preach it from the mountain top until the end of my days, everything starts with a belief. How are we supposed to be confident in our requests when we don’t even believe we deserve something great, better, and/or impactful? Believing is the starting line to true confidence and propels you into quality trust. Ask yourself: Do you believe you should be married? Are you believing that you are qualified for that promotion at your job? Do you believe you can get out of debt?
Don’t think you need to know it all. Rebuke the spirit of needing to be able to do everything by yourself. The key to eliminate overthinking is being able to talk it through or sharing your thoughts with another person. Use your resources, especially reaching out to people who are already where you want to be or have what you want. Ask them the important questions so you won’t have to play the guessing and overanalyzing game in your head.
Don’t get me wrong on this one. I am not saying to talk about it all the time to any and everybody or post too much on social media. I am referring to being persistent in your time of prayer (Hebrew 4:16). Meanwhile, you should be speaking whatever it is you want into existence when someone asks you about it. Master your positive self-talk around that particular area. Ultimately, you are aligning your words to your desire and your desire to your vision.
This key goes hand and hand with anything that will stretch you beyond your comfort zone. Want that husband, what are you doing to prepare yourself? No longer want to have money troubles, are you getting a handle on your money management and reducing expenses/increasing income? Want to have a more confident spiritual life, are you participating in bible small groups or engaging in praise/worship? I am not to say these are the only needs, but putting yourself in a better place to receive what you want will improve your chances of success.
This key has been hard for me and a lot of people I know. We are in a day and age of convenience and instant gratification. Majority of us suffer from what the psychologist would say is a “destination addiction”. Destination addiction is where we focus on and obsess over the next best thing. In this mental state, we are not content and take for granted the blessings of today. Know there is a possibility that you may not get married, have a child again, or be able to lose that weight. Furthermore, sometimes what we want won’t come when we want or it will come in a different form than what we expect. No matter the outcome, we must learn to be content.
Boldness can be a bit scary and may be easy for other folks. As a single mom, I have struggled with being bold with what I want, my opinions, and my deal breakers. Being bold and confident can help you set boundaries, set you apart from others at work, and allow you to have more control over your responses to life experiences.
For a while, I looked up scriptures and asked God for the boldness and confidence that I have today. I encourage you if confidence, courage, and boldness is what you desire, you will need to stretch yourself and come boldly to God in prayer and supplication. Truly, there is so much freedom in stepping into your God-given identity.
Hope this post blesses at least one mama!
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In need of individual support, book a complimentary breakthrough chat with me, Chyna Nicole, to help you work through your boldness needs.
Oh God!
Help me to believe again. Help me to believe in You, believe in me, and other people. Lord, help me believe that anything is possible. Believe that I will have that dream job, attract the life I truly desire, and the business that will not risk meeting the needs of my child. Amen.
It’s time for you to believe in yourself again!
Somebody’s listening to the constant negative self-talk in your head. Listening to all the things you say you can’t do. Listening to all the words you speak over your kids in frustration when they’re misbehaving. (more…)