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This topic can go either way for many of us. We hear a lot of chatter online where nothing should affect our confidence because it’s OUR confidence. But the reality is that others and our environment can affect how we see ourselves and our abilities whether we want them to or not. Your family upbringing, work environment, and even your church community can impact how you see your abilities. One of the most important relationships that can significantly impact how you see yourself is your friends. So yeah, your friends can affect your confidence too. (more…)

You may be wondering why I’m writing this post, but don’t worry. I have reflected a lot the last few months and finally got to the root of all my relationship woes. I write this post because confidence in relationships is so important. Not because of the benefits, but for the security and steadiness, it allows for relationships to be vibrant. (more…)

As you all know, I have been on this life coach journey, and I have loved it so far. I have enjoyed my development and the connections I have made since establishing myself as a relationship coach. But there is one nuance to my progress: my long history of “not so proud of” past relationships. But trust me, I have many lessons learned from every one of those so-called failed relationships. (more…)

To the woman that I thought I wouldn’t have to see anymore. We meet again. But not necessarily on bad terms but I know you’re in desperate need of being healed and encouraged again.

Hey Girl,

You’ve been doing your thang. Rocking motherhood in the best way you can and walking in a confidence I haven’t seen in awhile. But you haven’t been sleeping well at night , tossing and turning every hour on the hour.  Something is heavy on your heart.  Something you can’t explain. It makes you want to cry so bad but you know tears only last for a moment. It makes you want to scream and yell but you know no one is listening. You are in desperate need of change, transformation and shifting. Every part of you is crying out and searching for a home.

You talk to God out loud, in your writing and in your thoughts. But it seems that you’re not getting out what you really want to tell Him. Your heart is moaning because it’s broken. Your heart is bruised and tired from all your fighting. You ask yourself why this is happening again. This was supposed to be the best year of your life you say. The best time to usher in your 30’s on a high note but instead you’re back at square one healing all over again. This life is full of divide, hate, isolation, frustration, and sickness right now. I know you are trying your best not to fall into the world wind.

In this letter, I want to speak life into you and encourage you, every part of you. If you don’t mind. I want to see healing and growth come from this, you don’t below here. I am reaching my hand to you in the pit of today and pull you out untouched. Read my words but most importantly hear my heart.

Your Blackness Is Healed

I understand the frustration you feel for having to defend something you can’t control. The stares you’ve endured and the unsaid judgements you’ve had to intuitively feel. You are a black woman and I don’t want you to ever feel afraid to embrace it. God made you this way because he had a purpose for it. He doesn’t see you as a black woman but as His friend, child, chosen one, and legacy. Your black is beautiful so let that wound be healed. Remember what was said in Proverbs 31:29.

I Understand Your Silence

I really do understand your silence. The part of you that honestly doesn’t know what to say. But a part of it seems in fear because you’re so tired of being misunderstood. I know you’re tired of having a target on your back. Your voice matters. Your words, your opinions, and your encouragement matter. Someone needs you to STEP UP.

You Are A Christian

You were chosen for such a time as this. Hold firm to your faith and hold firm to your beliefs. Never let anyone change what you know to be true. Many will not understand your path or even persecute you for it. But this is so much bigger than this world. Hold tight to your eternal life. Prioritize your spiritual health.

Your Singleness Is Your Strength

Just because you’re single, that doesn’t mean you’re alone. Embrace your single journey. Learn what you need to learn and do what you want to do. Work on being healed, whole, and holy. Single is just a status, not a death sentence.

Single Motherhood Is Your Platform

Avoid the urge to think less of yourself because you are raising your child by yourself right now. You are so much stronger than you think. Use this assignment to steward your child and not send another generation out searching and seeking healing from the answers you already have inside you. Your child adores you and don’t you forget that.

Grow At Your Job

I know this is one area you try to avoid. You need to know that where you are planted is for a season. Focus on learning what needs to be learned from this place of work and move on when the spirit leads you. You need to learn to trust people again. Not everyone is out to destroy your name and your character. Some people just want to see you succeed. Do you want to see yourself succeed?

You Are Healed Through Laughter

People may not understand why you’re so playful and goofy all the time. They may not ever get to know you like I do. You are a gem and bring so much laughter and joy to anyone you’re around. Life may put the squeeze on you to the point that you burst with laughter and that’s what I admire about you. Your laugh can relieve the pressure on other’s mind, body, soul, and spirit. Laugh until you can’t anymore.

Your Mind Can Heal You And Others

Lastly, love on your mind. You see it as your greatest enemy but I see it as your greatest treasure. Your mind has always been wired to do good, to serve others, and to help change people’s viewpoint. But for years, you had no idea how to master your mind. So for so long, your mind mastered you.

Heal darling, so the world can be blessed by your amazing mind. Embrace and never forget who you are. I say all this because the world is waiting for you, the Kingdom needs you. You are cherished more than you know.

Love,

Self