I am no expert on being a father. However, I have experienced the effects of having a present and absent father due to incarceration. Whether we acknowledge it or not, a father presence plays a large part in the confidence of our children.
- 1 7 Ways A Father Presence Increases A Child’s Confidence
- 1.1 The Importance Of A Child’s Confidence
- 1.1.1 The Father Presence Provides Identity
- 1.1.2 A Father Presence Provides Security
- 1.1.3 The Father Presence Provides Balance
- 1.1.4 A Father Presence Provides Order
- 1.1.5 The Father Presence Provides Affirmation
- 1.1.6 A Father Presence Provides Healthy Relationship Building
- 1.1.7 The Father Presence Pleases God
- 1.2 All in all,
- 1.3 Chyna Nicole
- 1.4 Related
- 1.1 The Importance Of A Child’s Confidence
What is the importance of father presence?
I want to warn you immediately that this is not a man—hating post. Therefore if you are on that, I would encourage you to continue to read because this one is for you.
There is no reason why we should be breaking down our men, especially those who are fathers. I know they have a responsibility of stepping up and taking their rightful place in their child’s life, but let’s not add fuel to the fire.
Men right now are either under a lot of pressure or feel as though they have no safe space to go to, like women, to work through their mess and grow/mature as they should. My heart goes out to men because I operated so long in a masculine energy that caused so much hurt to myself and confusion within. Men need to know that they are respected, needed, and appreciated just as much as we do.
But I digress…
A father’s role is provider, protector, leader, teacher, helper, encourager, and friend for our children. Fathers’ presence plays a large part in the development and early formation years of a child. A child’s confidence dependence of the stability, consistency, and quality provided by their parents, each contributing something different.
As a single mom, we often can see the difference. We can do all the things to make sure our children are provided for, secure, and productive citizens but there will always be a void that we can not fulfill. Only a father’s love and God’s love can do what is vital to the health of future generations.
How does an absent father affect a daughter?
I am a daughter, and I am raising a daughter, so I have created a list of how a father’s absence affects a little girl. As a daughter, a non-present father instills:
- Fear/feelings of rejection
- Insecurity
- Seeking validation in inappropriate places
- Leaves vulnerable to abuse and mistreatment
- Unhealthy attachment to men
- Abandoment issues
- Hyper Independence/ Masculinization
- Difficulty connecting with God
There are more effects of the failure of a father to be present, but these are common and damaging.
How does an absent father affect a son?
I am not a son nor am I raising one yet. However, I grew up with 3 brothers that I saw have challenges due to having an absent father or inconsistent father in their life. As a son, a non-present father instills:
- Confusion of identity
- Overfeminization
- Struggles with anger
- Feelings of rejection/ rejection of God
- Abandonment issues
- Lack of respect for authority (increase chances of criminal activity)
- Lack of direction/motivation/idleness
- Seeking validation in places that lead to death (gangs, drugs, alcohol)
- Workaholics at an early age
These are ones I have observed but I am sure there are other struggles that need to be addressed. My goal was to paint a picture of how a father’s presence or absence affects a child’s confidence.
Our children would not have to deal with such heavy burdens and emotions if we started to work toward helping our men and fathers understand their importance to us and their children.
In the next session, I share with you 7 ways a father presence increases a child’s confidence. Also, I wanted to end this post with thought and prayer for God to move in the hearts of men and restore the role and position of fathers in their children’s lives.
I believe today will be a turn for the better. We need our fathers, and I know God answers the prayers of His children. May fathers rise again!
7 Ways A Father Presence Increases A Child’s Confidence
The Importance Of A Child’s Confidence
I will be short because we all should know how important a child’s confidence is to the health of the future generations and years to come. For so many decades, as we can see, trauma, hate, and pain have been passed down.
We are a hurting generation because surviving has only been the goal. Thriving as the goal builds children who put their trust in God, understand who they are, and show up in the world as such. A child’s confidence allows them to ignite change, be innovative, and be creative, advancing generations.
A child’s confidence is so important. As the leader of the family and child’s life, a father needs to set that foundation by teaching the things of God, encouraging them, affirming them, and being a safe place here on earth.
A secure kid is an adult full of confidence. A protected child is an extraordinary adult. This is why the 7 ways a father’s presence does more than mold a child but change the world.
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The Father Presence Provides Identity
Your father helps set a foundation for your identity. Just like God gives us our identity, our father here on earth helps establish our identity.
He teaches us the things of God and reminds us who we are despite opinions. Our child’s confidence becomes rooted in the truth and the lies of this world will have a hard time penetrating.
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A Father Presence Provides Security
Our father provides protection for us, especially for our daughters, as this world sees them as weak, vulnerable and easy to play with. We can see from the story of Eve, without secure leadership, she was swindled into pain and forfeiting the rights of men to be with God.
The father provides security that no matter what happens, he will take care of his children. Provide what a child’s need whether financially, physically, and mentally.
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The Father Presence Provides Balance
There have been a lot of talks right now regarding the issue of masculine/feminine energy, transgender, and gender identity. A child needs a balance of male and female to understand how they were made and relate to the opposite gender. This creates confidence in who God made a child to be when the balance is provided by both mother and father.
God created us in His image with both aspect of who He is. We were intended to come together to be that balance of Him on earth for generations and generations. As believers, we should be pursuing that balance for our children, not contributing to the division and confusion rampant in this world.
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A Father Presence Provides Order
As we know from the Word, God creates a divine order of the family structure. We should not take it lightly because it does not create things without a purpose in mind. God placed the husband/father/man in the order that he covers the woman/wife and the children for a reason.
A father creates order and leadership that provides a model for the child to learn from and feel secure, and protected within. When they don’t have order, the child feels like they are in chaos, and their confidence is affected.
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The Father Presence Provides Affirmation
We often think of the father’s presence as affirmation for the daughters, but our sons need affirming too. As single moms, we do so much to ensure our sons are validated; we can only do so much.
Our children need affirmation from their fathers. They need to feel chosen, loved, and cherished. There is an innate stamp of validation that every child desires. When they do not receive it, instead of a child’s confidence soaring, they are left with rejection, insecurity, and abandonment.
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A Father Presence Provides Healthy Relationship Building
This way is vital to the health of our communities. We were created to do relationship with others and it starts when we are children. Many of the challenges we are having as a society regarding relationship building seem from unmet needs as children.
One of the pains that have plagued us is the absence of the father’s in the home and child’s life. I wouldn’t say that children are living in broken homes, but they are living need-deficient lives. Vital needs are not being met due to the perpetual pain, lack of forgiveness, and non-healing from generations before.
We have to give our children the wisdom and healthy experience of healthy relationships if we want to see a fundamental change in the world, and it starts with our child’s confidence.
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The Father Presence Pleases God
God created men with a powerful position and role in developing his children and future descendants. When fathers step into their rightful place and lead their families as he intended, God is pleased.
This is why it’s so important that we support the development and growth of our men, especially those who are a father. Our goal should be to please, God. Therefore, our role as women and single mothers is to do everything we can to pray for, enlighten, and support men to step into their rightful place, not cause more harm.
All in all,
God, I thank you for the creation of fathers. Thank you for making them in your image and giving us an extra dose of what you provide on Earth.
Lord, place your hands of the men of today. Remind them of their rightful place in the family structure. Remind them that they are so crucial to the development of their children.
A prayer for a father’s prescence
Father, soften the hearts of the single moms who have had a turbulent relationship with their own father or the father of their children. May they seek you to redeem and restore those relationships for the sake of their children and the development of their confidence.
God, your sons need you more and more each day. They need a safe space to work through the burdens and the heaviness of being a man in a fallen world. May they seek your face and lay all their burdens at your feet, Jesus.
Restore, rebuild, and renew our fathers, even the ones who desire to be great fathers but are limited by the immaturity of others. God let them know you see them where they are, and you hear their cries. Let them understand that in their Heavenly Father’s presence the impossible is possible.
So I solute all the fathers on this Father’s Day with a heart for you. I know God will do something unique in the hearts of all fathers that will change the trajectory of our world. Thank you for your presence, God. In Jesus’ name, Amen!
In need of additional support? check out these addiitonal blog post:
- 10 Amazing Father Qualities Of God: Bible Study
- 5 Things To Consider When Choosing The Best Father Figure For Your Children
- To The Man Who Decided Not To Be Apart Of My Child’s Life
- 3 Reasons Why I Didn’t Want Child Support From My Ex
You can also join the Women Seeking Confidence Facebook group for a community of women headed in the same direction as you in regards to growing in love life:
