Holidays can be some of the best times for families and for some it can be the hardest time of the year. For single moms, the experience varies. However, today, I share with you a list of holiday blues that single moms have experienced on their journey and ways to overcome them with the Word of God.
For me personally, I absolutely adore the holidays. From all the good candy to fall festivals and sweet potato pies at Thanksgiving to the joyful smiles and laughter on my loved ones’ faces at Christmas, the holidays are a special time of year for me.
If you don’t believe me, check my hallmark subscription. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every Christmas Hallmark ever made.
Despite my initial joy of the season, I have had some tough times and holiday blues over the years as a single mom, that has put a damper on my celebration.
Below, I will share with you the 5 Holiday Blues that I have experienced and have seen fellow single moms overcome during the holidays so that if you are feeling a certain way this year, you know how to handle them and healthily overcome them with God’s word so you can truly enjoy this holiday season.
5 Holiday Blues That Single Moms Experience and How To Overcome Them
Loneliness
Many of us single moms have experienced loneliness. The loneliness we feel can be from a lack of a romantic partner, distant friends, and toxic family culture.
The most significant factor of loneliness for most single moms is the feeling of being disconnected from others. Disconnection happens when an individual detach or isolate from another or something.
For some, it may be a healthy detachment from others who have harmed you. But for most, the disconnection is due to isolation and feeling as though nobody cares or understands.
Loneliness is a lie from the enemy. Sometimes we are by ourselves but we are never alone. God is always with us. I know it doesn’t make the feelings magically disappear, but it starts to snap you out of satan’s chokehold of loneliness and isolation.
“And David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God—my God—will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord.”
I Chronicles 28:20 NKJV
Financial Burden
This holiday blues is a given for most single moms but this shouldn’t be the norm. From the cultural pressure to get your children the best and spoil them with all the toys, we can often fall into the consumer trap and spend more than we can afford.
The best remedy for this holiday issue is to not conform to the ways of this world. Easier said than done, but remember, you do have the power.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 NLT
The Lord loves a cheerful giver, and so do your loved ones. If your family is asking for something that does not match what you can afford, be okay with where you are financially.
You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 NLT
Focus on getting things that your children or family members may need for everyday use and not the trendy things that will be useless tomorrow. Create a budget and/or make each gift thoughtful, either hand-made or unique to your relationship with them.
There are community resources that also provide help during the holidays, especially items for your children. Most importantly, if all else fails, your presence and time are enough. Share Jesus for the holidays.
Most people may plan for the holidays, but I know for us single moms, our minds can only handle so much. Often, you feel like the holidays sneak up on you, but you can still manage your finances well, last minute or not.
Anxiety/Insecurity
Every year, I have tried to keep this kind of holiday issue out of the equation. However, for some of us, the busyness of the season gets a bit overwhelming. From all the school festivities to work demands and social gatherings, anxiety and, at times, comparison creeps in.
But the Word reminds us,
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 NLTGive all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
Also, remember that everyone is running their race and walking their path. The comparison trap does nothing but stall your progress. That is why it seems as though everyone else is surpassing you. You have stopped focusing on your path.
You ever go on a walk or take a drive and notice the difference in speed when you focus on where you are going versus looking all around; the progress is drastically difference.
Don’t slow your progress or, in this case, joy by looking around everyone else. Be thankful and content with who you are and where you are.
Depression
Depression is one of those holiday challenges that is often hidden behind some of the others but is very much prevalent. The symptoms can be an extension of mental illness throughout the year, or for some symptoms start around the holiday season.
We are often aware of the loud symptoms and presentation of depression that we see on TV, leading to suicidal ideation. However, silent symptoms show for those who struggle with motivation to keep going after a tough year of hardship after hardship.
Single moms are no strangers to challenges and hardships, but it does not have to lead to us losing hope and purpose. Know that challenges are for a season, not for your entire life here on earth. God has a plan for you and a purpose here on earth. Don’t let temporary feelings and emotions define who you will be and your value.
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
Guilt/Sense Of Failure
I wrote a whole blog post this year about feeling like a failure. You can check it out here. Guilt and a sense of failure is a self-induced holiday blues. No one can hold you to them but yourself.
You are not failing, and the circumstance you and your children are in is not all on you. Your circumstance is not something to be sad or embarrassed by. You are right where you need to be, living and breathing to enjoy your children and be all God called you to be.
Don’t let your exceptions keep you from enjoying the blessings and gifts you have right in front of you. God has blessed you with children and much more, whether you feel you are handling it. Know that God knows that:
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever. Psalm 73:26 NLT
And if you feel like your choices are a significant part of where you and your family are now. I would encourage you to meditate on these:
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9 NLT
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT
All in all,
Holiday blues are a season. Never feel like what is happening or what you think in this season defines you. The best way to get over the holiday blues is to keep your eyes focused on Jesus and never let go.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5 NLT
Need help getting through the holidays? Check out these resources:
- Keep Fighting Single Moms in 2023: Overcoming Struggles Of Single Motherhood
- Ultimate Thanksgiving Survival Guide For Single Moms
- Encouraging Words For Single Moms From 6 Single Moms Past & Present
- How To Stay Content For The Holidays With These Scriptures
- 15 Books For Single Moms To Gift This Holiday Season
- How To Live In Daily Gratitude As A Single Mom
You can also join the Women Seeking Confidence Facebook group for a community of women headed in the same direction as you in regards to growing in faith:
