In communication, we are always taught to sandwich tough messages with compliments. That’s fine; But there comes a time where we have to get away from pleasing people and caring about the feelings of those that have hurt us and make a decision to be at peace.
Today, I release the many feelings and thoughts I have had around my experience of becoming a single mother and the man who decided not to step up and own his responsibility.
This is not to bash him or attack his character, but as a single mother, I have tried to rack my brain over and over again regarding how someone could not step up like I have so readily.
Decision…
One thing I learned is that not everyone thinks nor operates exactly like me. Even if I never get an answer, I have learned to be at peace with not having all the answers. But first I want to share what has weighted me down regarding the lack of involvement by the man who conceived the child with me.
Check out: Reasons I Didn’t Pursue Child Support
To the man who didn’t show up,
I honestly don’t know how to approach this subject with you. But I am highly disappointed! I understand the fact that our relationship was not what we thought it was going to be but that does not excuse the fact that a child was brought into the world.
Decision To Forgive
I stepped up and took on the task of raising, nurturing, and loving our child. Hoping you would have made the decision to have a part in the development too. I am disappointed but I am not in a place of bitterness. Our child ended up being the best life change that ever happened to me. And so in that, I forgive you.
Decision To Love
To be honest, I do not wish ill on you. I do not want you to suffer or be hit with karma . So I take the time to pray for you. Pray that you are well and have received the healing you need. I pray that you have found your purpose, peace, and have transformed into the man that I knew you could be deep down.
Decision of Gratitude
I want to thank you for being a lesson in my life that changed the way I handled and viewed relationships. I thank you for crossing my path and helping me in manifesting my greatest blessing. Just like you, I did not realize in the moment that there is always a lesson in everything we go through.
Decision to Grow
I have learned to love myself and others better. I have learned how to do things afraid and rise to the occasion. Surprisingly, I have even learned to take relationships more seriously and the importance of being equally yoked. The biggest lesson I learned is that I make sure I believe others when they tell me who they are and not expect others to think and live the way I do.
Decision to Empathize
At the end of the day, you have missed out on some amazing moments with our child. I hope she understands the decision you made when it’s time to explain to her the story of her father. Telling her the truth and withholding nothing so she doesn’t have to spend her life wondering why. And I will be there for her as she processes this. I know life was hard but I thought you would do much more.
I do wish you well,
From A Confident Christian Single Mom
All in all,
No matter how you became a single mom, it’s important to get those feelings outside of your head and on to a page. Release the emotions tied to how your chapter came about. Leave the bitterness on the page. Abandon the disappointment between the lines. Say goodbye to the rejection that have stayed at the top of every page. Be free!
The best thing we can do is learn and move forward. I pray that one day God will open his eyes and get him to see the effects of his one decision. And if it’s not God’s will, then I will be at peace with my own healing. I hope you will be too in your own situation.
Check out: Things To Consider In A Father Figure
I hope this post blesses at least one single mom on their journey!
