I was overwhelmed with various emotions, and the anesthesia wasn’t helping. I knew someone was now relying on me for everything, and anything I did would affect my daughter.
The first two years were rough, but with family support, I could accomplish my goals and enjoy it from her eyes.
Read more about my story here.
A mindful reflection is a tool I use in understanding and discovering things about myself. The past 15 years have been a rollercoaster, indeed abandoning my morals and staying under God’s cover. You know what they say, “when you are young, you think and act like a child.” But the day I became a mother, I had to put away my foolish ways. (1 Corinth 13:11)
This post is not about me boasting but hoping to help change someone else’s perspective of their single motherhood journey through my transparency.
What Did I Discover?
Single motherhood helped me prioritize and rearrange my values.
My life priorities were man-eating, degrees, and having a good time pre-child, not knowing that all that would send me into a downward spiral. But since becoming a mother, I have led with my values and prioritize peace, spiritual transformation, independence, and family.
Single motherhood provided an opportunity for my healing and personal growth to begin.
As a newly single mom, I often felt ostracized and isolated as my sins were represented physically, unlike others who could hide theirs. I started spending more time with myself and began to forgive myself truly. For so long, I tried to be surrounded by others when I needed to change my environment to start to heal, grow, and finally see my potential.
Single motherhood reminded me of all I should be grateful for in life.
More than I would like to admit, as a newly single mom or seasoned, we quickly communicate what we lack as a woman, mom, or household. We spend time pursuing what we don’t have that we forget to enjoy the blessings right in front of us.
Negativity is so easy to come by but positivity is far more worth the effort. Choose today that you will see the good in your life and thank God for it all everyday.
7 Ways Single Motherhood Changed My Life: Reloaded 5 years later!
Single motherhood reminded me that I need God in me, not just around me.
I started going to church when I was about 13 years old. I knew I needed to be around God, but I didn’t realize I needed God within me. What changed the game for me was staring at my now home church Faith Christian Center and re-dedicating my life to Christ after having my daughter. Even when I was in the world, fornicating and living in disobedience, I still made my way to church every morning because I had to be around the things of God. But the challenges of single motherhood matured me spiritually to be all in and allow God to create a house in me.
Single motherhood showed me the leader in me.
I have always been the person who didn’t raise my hand to take the lead on a committee or as a team captain. But somehow, I ended up being chosen for those roles anyway. It was not that I didn’t have the leadership qualities but that I didn’t see myself for who I was before single motherhood. I chose to hide behind my low confidence and self-worth than get out of my comfort zone and become who I have always been. Now I seek leadership and serve under those already in leadership roles.
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Single motherhood uncovered that I am stronger than I think.
The first part of my motherhood journey has been a breeze, from pregnancy to about 3 years of age. However, these last 4 years have tested my gangster, exposed my flaws, and challenged me not to give up. But through my frustrations and mental threats, I know I can overcome this phase of parenting as I did all the years. I never thought I had what it takes to be a mom or care for a child. Because in reality, I don’t enjoy kids like many others, but God has a funny way of showing us parts of ourselves that we refuse to see.
Single motherhood pivoted my focus to creating a legacy.
Lastly, my journey has reminded me that my decisions and choices are not my own. They don’t just affect me but the people around me. I didn’t see myself as connected outside of myself, especially after my grandmother died. Becoming a mother changed that because everything we do affects someone around us, whether their family/friends or that random woman who watches us unknowingly as inspiration. I started to fix my eyes on legacy and the principles and stories I want to leave for those who come after me mentally, spiritually, financially, emotionally, and so on.
The Takeaway
During this time of reflection, I stood on this one scripture as I was working on accepting and being at peace with my new role:
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3
I encourage you all to think about how much you’ve changed since having your reward(s) or since having to start this journey as a single mother. Think about the good but also examine the negative emotions as well. Emotions tell us when we are uneasy and need to address a specific person or situation.
