More often than not, we can get so caught up in all we have to do as single moms that we forget that there are critical people in our lives helping us get through. I felt led to write a short post about the truths of how most single moms genuinely experience their support system.
After my week-long vacation this past week, I had time to reflect on how important and the impact my support system has been on me thriving as a single mom. Last week would not have been possible without them.
We need you!
My support system has come through for me physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I wouldn’t have been able to go above and beyond to spoil my daughter or have the little adult time in Vegas without their support.
Over the past year, I have worked multiple jobs, gigs, blogging, and coaching while still trying to raise my child solo. None of this would have been possible without their many offers of free childcare, stepping in to help with house chores, grocery shopping, and spreading the word about my coaching business. My support system is my spine, literally.
What is a Support System?
A support system is not always what you think. It’s not only about child care. There are other ways people can support you as a single mom. Most people feel that if they don’t have family or friends in their state, they don’t have support. That is far from the truth.
Your support system could be:
- The teacher in your child’s school or Sunday school program improves your child’s behavior/performance.
- Your mom that answers all your calls and is willing to give sound advice
- Time spent praying to God and reading the Word.
- A friend from out of state that holds you accountable to your goals and gets on phone calls with you
- Your pastor or support staff whom you have long discussions with about spiritual challenges
A support system is whatever and whoever you need at that moment or in that season. For this reason, I want to share with you the four truths that single moms wish their support system to knew.
4 Truths Single Moms Want Their Support System To Know
We appreciate everything you do.
As single moms, we may not say thank you enough to those who hold us up. Even though we may feel it internally, the outward expression may be far and few. Today, I want to declare that all things done for single moms are cherished and appreciated, whether the support is from one person or a hundred.
One specific person in my support system has done more than what is called for, my mother. She was a single mom as a teenager who received limited support, so she became the needed person when she was younger. I am in awe of her growth and how she has been a driving force in our life.
We don’t want to feel like a burden or abusing your kindness.
This truth is a personal barrier, but we want you to understand where we are from when we decline assistance. To be honest, we need all the help we can get. However, sometimes we can place unnecessary pressure on ourselves to feel like we are supposed to do it all.
At times, our situation’s guilt or desire to be everything to our children keeps us from accepting the kindness you show towards us. Whatever it stems from, know that it’s nothing to do with your gestures but more to do with our rejection to feeling incapable or inadequate as a single mom. Continue to love on us, even if we fight it.
We thank you for going out your way to love on our blessing(s).
This truth is a personal one to me because my support system spoils my daughter. I spend most evenings trying to unspoil her. ( Just Kidding) But there is something impressive about the love we have received from those around us. Not out of pity, but genuine, authentic love.
When they say it takes a village to raise a child, it is the truth. My child wouldn’t be the happy, healthy, thriving child without all those individuals who stepped in to help me, teach her and love us. Being a single mom makes life all about our children, and with your support, we can experience our life outside of motherhood.
We need your support more than we know sometimes.
As I said in previous sections, we get so caught in our mission to eliminate the struggle. However, we negate that you are the answer to easing our load and decreasing our battle. We experience this tug and pull with our relationship with God as well. Seeing things past our pain, unfortunate experiences, and genuinely leaning into the support others, God has placed into our lives.
Like with any transformation or change, there has to be a personal revelation and awareness to see things for what they are. When we become single mothers, we can often see things through our glasses of pain and betrayal that distorts the support given as a transaction or with ill-motive. All we ask is that you provide us with grace and continue to love on us the way God does.
All in all,
We are thankful for the support you’ve shown for our little families thus far. Even when we don’t know how to ask for help or assistance, you have stayed steadfast in your support. We ask that you continue to love on us as we grow in this season of single motherhood. We are nothing without our support system. You all play such a critical role in our success as single parents.
If you are a support person reading this, please check out this post on ways that you increase your support for the single mom in your life.
IF you are a single mom needing guidance on establishing and nurturing a support system in your life, BOOK A MINI-COACHING SESSION WITH ME.
Or join our community of Confident Christian Single Mom Facebook Group of other single moms choosing to thrive.
I hope this post blesses at least one single mama toward thriving as a single mom!
Additional Blog Post:
I’m not a single mom, but when my husband was active duty Navy he was gone a lot! I had some amazing friends and support system who really helped me through those 6+ month cruises! Now, on the other side, I try to help other moms!
Yes! I can relate to this so much. I was a young single mom and my support system of family and friends was everything. I never wanted to be a burden and always felt immense gratitude for those that were there for me. Great post!
Very true! Thank you so much
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You’re welcome!