Before the eye rolls begin, let me be clear. Whether you enjoy talking about them or not, love languages have changed the game on how we relate to others and love one another. Don’t get me wrong…the application of the love languages is flawed with major triumphs. However, one thing I love about them is the opportunity of growth and understanding.
I’ve taken the love languages quizzes for the past 10 years to see if I have had any growth or change. Furthermore, I’ve administered the test to my daughter so that I could better understand the key to her heart. In my last relationship, there were struggles with fully knowing how to implement the specific love languages based on how the other person accepts it.
One thing I so know is that I love some food and movies!!!!
Besides all that, I find true benefit in acknowledging love and it’s importance in our daily relationships. The author Gary Chapman has definitely filled a gap in the area of love but I know there is more to the establishment of love. That is why I took the time to study from the standpoint of its creator, God.
God Is Love
You can probably guess the specific scriptures that are all about love in 1 Corinthians 13. But there are many other areas that speak of love even more. Here’s a list of popular verses for you to dig deeper:
- Joshua 23:11
- Proverbs 17:9, 21:21
- Matthew 5:44, 10:37
- John 3:16, 14:15, 15:13
- Galatians 5:6,13
- Song of Song 8:6
- 1 Peter 4:8
- 1 Corinthians 16:14
- Colossians 3:14
- 1 John 4:18-19
- Roman 12:9-10, 13:8
There are even a few chapters in the bible that takes you on the adventure and roller coasters of love. My favorite is the Songs of Solomon or Songs of Songs and it’s amazing portrayal of a love story.
One thing I have learned through my study is that love is not what you think it is. Love is what you know it is to be at it’s core. Often time, we can get caught up in the cinematic depiction of love. However, the way love blossoms is different for everyone.
Love and The Single Mom
As single moms, we can often feel deprived of love at times. Love from ourselves, love from our children, and love from others. We can focus on how much we lack that we can miss the fact that God has loved us through everything.
That was, is, will always be His promise.
At times, we forget that love is unconditional and that we don’t have to complete a checklist to receive love from God. Moreover, we forget that love is kind and patient, in that we deal with people and things longer than we should.
Despite our flaws, we know that love is something we desire. We don’t always go to the right source for love, but we know that it’s essential. The biggest perk about learning your love languages is that you can better communicate your need to yourself and to others. This is the start of not only knowledge and understanding, but of self-love and self-respect.
How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. – Rupi Kaur
The 5 Love Languages
As a single mom, we can believe that we have a great deal of needs and that there is no way to get them fulfilled. I have felt stuck more than I would like to admit. You’ve probably felt this way as well.
With growth, I learned to use my results to share my needs with my family and friends in regards to how they can be there for me. Keep reading to find out how you can obtain your own results.
What are the love languages?
Love Languages are broken into 5 categories: 
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Affirmations
How to find out my own?
When starting the love language process, you’ll need to go to this website here. Fill out the series of questions and receive your results. Once you have your ranking, take time to read each type to have a better understanding of each. I say print out your results and take the quiz every 2-3 years to see how you’ve grown over time. Also, pick up the various books written on the love languages by Gary Shipman directed toward children/teens, singles, married, and more. Below is an example of my own result:
Using The Love Languages: 25 Ways To Serve You As A Single Mom
Disclaimer: These are all examples, so don’t think these are the only ways you can serve yourself or be served. Find what speaks to you more based on your love language. I am not the creator and author of this concept so you will need to seek additional resources from 5lovelanguages.com.
Physical Touch (Comfort)
- Learn to massage yourself or provide a mother with a massage
- Old-fashion hug
- Wash your body, uninterrupted shower
- Kiss or hold her hand
- Dance together
Quality Time (Support)
- Listen to them share their worries, fears, and challenges
- Bring snacks and watch a movie
- Visit them regularly
- Join in on things they love to do
- Create a group that helps the mom to build relationships/friendship
Gifts (Care)
- Time alone
- Spa/self-care kit
- Gift cards or anything free
- Pay one of their bills- gas or groceries
- Thoughtful, small gestures based on things they love (pictures, cards, jewelry, etc.)
Acts of Service (Help)
- Assist with household chores (grocery shopping, cleaning, dinner, yard work, house repairs)
- Provide childcare for them for more alone time
- Provide accountability for reaching their goals
- Help support their children
- Pray for the single mom
Affirmations (Appreciation)
- Show appreciation for all that she does
- Listen to music that speak truth and positivity
- Recite a mantra about yourself or send encouraging scripture
- Send sweet text messages, letters, and/or emails
- Just saying the words ” I love you.” (Make sure you mean it!)
Love Is What You Make It
Love is what you make it and who you make it with. -Mae West
Above I shared ways single mothers from self-love ad love of another. But know that these things can not come into your life until you do the work of believing that you can receive love. Once you are able to believe you are worthy of love, then you can have better faith and confidence that love can be in your daily dealings.
Never forget your number one source of Love, which is God. Anytime you are in love with someone you spend more time around them, thinking about them, and engulfing yourself in the things they love.
- God loves you so you want to fully understand why.
- God is His Word so finding time to spend time in Word and meditation on it.
- Understanding how God shows His Love, so showing love for others in the same.
I have been so weighed down in my heart to share the beauty of love whether it’s with yourself or with others. With everything that is going on in our world, the division that’s been spreading. I want to spread something more beneficial and that will help us all move forward through this.
I encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments below but more importantly, take the time to feel yourself with love. Below are songs and videos I love that helps me get focused on loving God, myself, and others.
Hope this blesses at least one mama on their journey towards the fullness of love!
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Connect via social media platforms as well to be a part of a community of loving single moms.
In need for individual support, book a complimentary breakthrough chat with me, Chyna Nicole, to help you breakthrough your challenges with faith, relationships, and life balance.
