Every now and then, I get an urge to write a love letter to single moms just like me. This is not another one of my planned post but an outpouring of my heart. The world is changing rapidly as we knew it would but for some reason, life still hits us like a ton of bricks. My cry is for you to keep fighting single moms. Know that trouble doesn’t always last; you can overcome the struggles of single motherhood in 2023.
Keep Fighting Single Moms
I am no expert in economics, the housing market, rent control, or any other state or national legislative. What I do know is the faithfulness of God, what He has placed inside of us, and the power of relationships.
Transparency moment: I, too, am struggling financially. I am not sure always sure if the rent will be paid on time or whether I can hustle up enough to make sure we are eating well this week. I also have poor habits that I have developed from my upbringing and my adopting of truths when it comes to money, living in America, and what I am able to do as a single mother.
It definitely took me awhile to be able to get to this point to share this with you all. I allowed the enemy, anxiety, and my thoughts to run rapid and cause me to think that I was unqualified to continue to write to you all.
What helped me continue to write and be a voice for Christian single moms like me who do well but still go through the struggles is that every person in the world is going through right now and need encouragement in the face of adversity.
Despite my circumstances and moments of doubt, I still have faith. God continues to call me to write for single moms, encourage confidence, and be used by God. The only way I can stay peaceful, sane, and joyful is because of Jesus.
He has made me new. He is my confidence, and because of that, I keep fighting, single moms, and overcoming the struggles that come with the territory.
My Testimony As A Single Mother
I became a single mother through poor choices I made in college. Giving men the time of day that really didn’t deserve any of it. Luckily, I was in graduate school and not undergrad, but I still felt like a 16 year old girl in high school when I found out I was pregnant. Apparently, my frontal lobe was still not matured at the age of 24-25.
When I was emotionally unstable, with very low self-esteem, parading around like I was so confident, I allowed the slick words and enticing glances of a guy at my job to bring me to this point in my life.
I was so devastated but also disappointed in myself. Shame, guilt, disappointment, anger knew me by name. I even tried to return to an ex I thought would be the one for me back in undergrad to see if he would take me back, only to be rejected amid desperation.
Throughout my pregnancy, there were many times I sat in the parking lot of planned parenthood, contemplating an abortion to rid myself of such pain and guilt. But God wouldn’t let me.
Even though, I was so far from God and His will for my life. He never left me or forsaken me during this time. I cried many nights and asked God to help me through this. I knew I would be a single mom ultimately, even though the man acted like he would be a part of my daughter’s life.
Then, I had my daughter, and it was real. I am a single mom. It was scary but brought so much joy and purpose at the same time. God loved me enough to let me steward His greatest gift, my Avah. I joined a church when I moved back home and the rest have been history.
I finished grad school a bit later than my classmates, but I have been able to do amazing things in the medical field and through Made New Mama. I couldn’t have done any of it without my family, mom specifically, friends, and church family. No matter where you find yourself, God’s plan for your life will prevail.
Even though, I am still overcoming struggles. I know who I am and refuse to be tossed to and fro by the shakiness of this world.
Keep Fighting Single Mom!
Overcoming Struggles Of Single Motherhood
We all desire for there to be one magical answer for this but it really isn’t. Overcoming depends on your support, strength, and fortitude. But below, I share 5 things to look at for every part of your being to help you thrive and overcome these struggles with victory and a smile on your face.
How Do Single Moms Thrive Spiritually?
Spiritually refers to the relationship you have with God and the things you do to feed your spirit. There is so many spiritual practices out there that actually grieve your spirit, provide fake connection, and push you away from God. Be careful of what you adopt as truth and allow into your spirit.
Here are ways you are overcome:
- Give your life to Christ if you haven’t done so already.
- Begin to read your bible, reading a chapter a day so you can marinate on what you learn. (You can use different versions for understanding like NLT or watch videos about the book you are reading for clarity. I love watching the kid videos about bible stories.)
- Begin or restart your prayer life. Keep it simple and be intentional about your conversations with God.
- Join a church that teaches the bible, of faith, and gives application to living the Christian life. Also, look for churches with thriving Children’s Ministries.
Overcoming spiritually is not just for you but your legacy as well.
How Do Single Moms Overcome Mentally?
Mentally refers to the creative, problem-solving, thought process, and intellectually stimulated part of the brain. Your mind organizes your experiences and set-up file systems that often impact your beliefs.
Here are ways you are overcome mentally:
- Become a reader. Besides reading the bible, read for growth, for stimulation, and for pleasure.
- Track your thoughts. Know what you think about life and your situation so you can transform them to serve you better.
- Try something new or do something you love. Taking a class, trying a new skill, or engaging inn your favorite activity can help you.
- Get off of social media or take a break from watching the news. Whether you take a break or quit cold turkey, know that media bombards are mind with information that we don’t necessarily need to know. Filter out what you want your mind to be exposed to. Conduct a social audit and clean house if you need to.
Overcoming mental can save you so much wasted time on things that do not matter or do not pour back into you or your family.
How Do Single Moms Grow Emotionally?
Emotionally refers to your feelings, how you experience life, and the awareness and acceptance of your emotions. For many of us, we bottle alot in as a way to protect ourselves. We end up doing more harm than good.
Here are ways you can grow and overcome emotionally:
- Work on your vulnerability with God. He already knows your true feelings about things. Just be honest with Him about it.
- Go to therapy. Not your friend, not your parents, not your pastor, a neutral person that is trained to help you learn to emotionally regulate. For most of us, we did not learn this key developmental skill which has caused us to struggle emotionally as a generation.
- Begin to write and journal. Dump all the feelings and emotions on those pages. Get them all out of your heart and core. You can just write, create poems, write songs, whatever you need to do to release.
- Communicate how you feel about things to others you can trust. Be honest. Avoid under cutting your feelings to justify others and make others feel comfortable.
Overcoming emotional can free you in so many ways as a single mom.
How Do Single Moms Survive and Increase Financially?
Financially refers to job/career, finances, investments, and money principles/stories. Wealth can show up physically as money, as wisdom, knowledge, and connections that help you multiply and grow financially.
Ways to increase and overcome financially:
- Look for ways in your current job/career or begin to prepare for transition to a higher paying job.
- Take courses and/or community college classes to improve skills and prepare for career advancement.
- Budget, budget, budget. As annoying as it is, this should be the first step you take. If you struggle on your own, invest in a financial coach/advisor.
- Focus on debt pay down. Freedom is the goal. When we continue to rely on credit, the government, and debt, we continue to keep ourselves slaves to the lender. You never feel like you get ahead.
This aspect is so critical to single momsical to single moms. I have needed a second job, but it doesn’t always align with your values of being there for your kids. Do what you must; but never sacrifice your values of quality family time for money.
How Do Single Moms Be Transformed Physically?
Physically refers to your body and everything that is in it. Your health should be a priority because your kid(s) need you to be here. How can you live a life of purpose when you don’t have the energy or health to get it done?
Ways to transform physically and overcome struggles with physical health:
- Make a decision that your health is important and go get labs and physical done by your primary care doctor.
- Intentionally choose healthier (whole) food options when meal planning and grocery shopping.
- Get an adequate amount of sleep. Sometimes we worry about so much and feel as though there is not enough time in the day to get things done. Prioritize sleep so your body will recover; the to-do list will be there tomorrow.
- Exercise. I don’t care how you do it, where you do it, or when you do it. Go to the gym, get out in nature, and get a yoga mat at home. Involve your kids too!
All in all,
My heart cares about you. I pray for you single mom as much as I pray for myself. Keep fighting single moms! I will keep fighting right along side of you.
This season and time shall pass. Joy is coming in the morning. Allow contentment to rest in your heart during this time. Remain rooted and faithful to where God has you right now. I know better is coming. I am in expectation that we will come out recession, economic falls on top.
Lean on other single mothers. Encourage and uplift each other. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, but don’t be afraid to trust in God too. God sees you and He knows your pain. Keep believing; keep fighting single moms.
I love you with the love of Christ! See you on the other side.
Are you overcoming struggles this year?
Check out these blog post to support your journey:
- Overcome Single Mom Struggles With These 14 Scriptures
- 7 Ways To Overcome Health Issues For Single Moms
- 3 Obstacles To Confidence and How To Overcome Them
- 5 Ways to Overcome Financial Struggles In Faith For Single Moms
You can also join the Women Seeking Confidence Facebook group for a community of women headed in the same direction as you in regards to growing in confidence:
