Honestly, I feel like we make making new friends harder than it has to be. I may be a little biased because it comes so naturally to me, but I know the key to it is just getting out there and doing it…unlike dating, of course, but that’s another post. There are simple ways to begin the process and journey to making new friends; you will just have to take a risk.
Take The Risk And Make New Friends
I believe the main thing about starting new relationships is its riskiness. This is a valid concern whether the reason is that we don’t want to be vulnerable, an open book, or skeptical of others’ to avoid being used.
But as we grow older, we don’t have the carelessness that we once had as young lads. Honestly, I watch my daughter and how every girl she interacts with is her friend. Of course, the life experience in me wanted to shut down the innocence of her thinking, but I realized I had to stop myself because I knew I would have to lead in the same way as an adult if I was going to be able to make friends in adulthood.
I also love how God uses children to get things across to us. God uses Avah all the time to get revelation to me. Parenting definitely brings life full circle.
Life circumstances and experiences create various barriers in our lives. Some may build protective measures of little gates, some may have open land, some may have a gated fence with a passcode to get out or in, but like so many of us, we have fortified castle-like block fences with guard men on each post. Okay, that’s a bit dramatic but foreal… you know you know somebody like this. It might even be you.
Often we hold up our shields against people but also against the avenues that people come into our lives. So I wanted to take my time to share with you 5 areas that we typically avoid that could be an excellent source for making new friends.
5 Easy Ways You Can Make New Friends That You May Be Avoiding
Social Media
I know we are all at a point where we want to delete all our social media accounts. On many occasions, I’ve felt like they’re more of a distraction, a trap into the scrolling doom, and full of nonsense. But social media was always intended for us to connect to others and expand on our networks.
In my personal experience, I have come across some great ladies who are slowly becoming friends, and it all started on Instagram. As much as we hate it, we are drawn to social media for one reason or another. Do not neglect the connections you can make through social media. This was a courageous step for me as I used to be so closed to new people knowing me outside what I post. But it has been a fantastic move forward for business and a more extensive network.
In Your Weekly Routine
This should be a given for everyone, but not everyone understands the benefits of seasonal friends. Everyone you meet won’t be your best friend/lifelong friend. If it does happen, God bless you. But I have found that making connections with those in your usual day-to-day contact points can spark new friendships.
An example was when I had Avah in gymnastics. I could have spent 6 hours to myself, but I decided to spark conversation and interest in others. Now, I have 2 new lady friends that are not only connected through the parenting of gymnasts but on outside interests. I have learned so much from them, and they have gained from me.
Join Meet-Ups or Social Interest Groups
This is an option that I am looking forward to implementing as I have not done this one yet. However, I hear it’s an excellent way for many people to make friends and even find romantic relationships. It allows you to have something in common and around people who desire the same thing as you, friendship.
Through The Person, You Are Or Were Dating
I have held on to some amazing women in my life despite the way things ended with the person I was dating. The surprising thing was that our friendships were never dependent on who I was with at the time; we made our connection beyond the shared person.
However, I will say this. Please do not hold on to people who were friends with an ex as a pawn. This means you do not remain friends for updated gossip on an ex or what your significant other is doing, but you genuinely want only to have a friendship with that person.
Check back in with acquaintances.
I should have put this one first; However, there is no better way to spark up new connections other than with old ones that could have gotten lost in the mix. This way, it is not starting from scratch but growing off of a seed already planted. You never know!
SN: Don’t be afraid to make friends of the opposite sex. This is a question I set out into the FB group, and it was a unanimous decision that you can be friends with the opposite sex. Not everyone has a plan outside of casual friendship, but still, be sure no other desires are happening on either side to move forward. I will make at least one guy friend over the next year. Hold me accountable, you all!
All in all,
Just get in the practice of asking questions and listening; you will be surprised by how friendships can start. My best friends/lifelong friends, we can’t even remember how we became; we remember where we were in life, and that’s about it. But they’ve been my people for over decades now. So if you have a desire to make new friends, it all starts with you. Take every opportunity to connect with those around you, but be wise in who you continue the journey with.
If you need support in the friend-making area, I encourage you to set up a confidence chat. You can also join the Women Seeking Confidence Facebook group for a community of women headed in the same direction as you in regards to growing in relationships:
