Okay, don’t get in a bunch after reading the headline. A romantic relationship is important for a lot of women. However, there are other relationships in life that can really set the tone for your life. In this post, I share five key relationships that I discovered were worth more focus and energy than finding the ‘one.’
As a relationship coach, I get asked all the time, “oh, so you help women get dates and a husband?”. Um, no, it just makes my skin crawl when I hear this.
But it also makes me realize how much society and culture have emphasized this specific relationship need and not many of the others that set the tone and are essential to having a better quality of life.
And to answer the question, no, I am not a dating coach, a marriage coach, or a romance coach. I don’t even think I would be qualified for that as I don’t have any of those and don’t plan on it anytime soon unless God says different.
My passion is helping women attract the relational experiences that they value and deserve. I help women experience relationships differently to see the good in being connected to people. My goal is to provide my clients with the space to become their most authentic selves and have the confidence to make changes within themselves and their relationships for the better.
Whoo! That was a lot, but you get the point.
My coaching allows women to form a relationship with themselves and the ones that will be most valuable for them to have a peaceful, joyous life. And if a boo thang is that for you, then I will address it because it’s your goal, and I’m here to support you in the journey to crossing that finish line and beyond.
Enough about me.
Below I share 5 relationships that are more important to achieving the peaceful, joyous life you desire.
5 Essential Relationships For A Peaceful, Joyous Life
So as I share each relationship, I don’t want you to think that you need to have one of these, and life will be hunky-dory. Relationships take hard work. So these relationships are ones I have seen many women neglect over the years because they put all their eggs into ‘finding a man.’ However, once they put effort into these other connections, life changed positively. Some even met their Boaz in the process. Here they are:
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A Relationship With God
This relationship is always first and foremost in my book. I went years and years putting God on the back burner, and it showed. Whether you believe in God or not, there’s the fact that a higher being created us; because all this complication and detail didn’t appear from thin air. Your relationship with God sets the tone for many other important relationships and provides a foundation on which relationships are built.
A relationship with God is praying and communicating with Him and knowing His perspective and will in life. This is why reading your bible is so important. And if you’ve never don’t that before, first acknowledge and receive Jesus, then begin to dive in to find out how God designed you and your relationships. Studying Jesus’ interactions in the new testament did it for me as well as reading Proverbs. Remember, the only way to tell if God is leading a man is by knowing God yourself. Hint, Hint!
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A Relationship With Yourself
Self-love is a big term right now that is saturating women circles and personal development groups. The term is all-encompassing because that covers your self-esteem, confidence, identity, and so much more. Honestly, I love that it’s taking its form now and empowering women to consider themselves. But with everything good, there’s another extreme that comes along.
A relationship with yourself is all those things and requires you to get to know yourself on a deeper level. This type of inner work allows you to set boundaries, communicate better, and re-adjust your life to suit your individual needs better.
But don’t get so absorbed in yourself that you lose the greater call to other people. Putting energy into your relationship with yourself allows you to have a solid foundation to help direct your life and other relationships that you may have gone with the flow with. How will you tell a man your needs and desires if you don’t know what they are for yourself?
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A Relationship With Your Children
I know that a handful of you may be reading this, and you don’t have children. But I know most of my readers do, and you should know someone raising children with whom you can share this. I learned the importance of having a relationship with your children rather quickly. Growing up in America, where single parenthood is increasing at an all-time high, I see all too often the damage tied to a child not having a solid relationship with their parent(s).
As a single mom, I feared not fully connecting with my daughter due to my additional demands. But I learned early that they have to become a priority when you have a child because they are your legacy and a part of the next generation.
So taking the extra time to do the inner work to not pass on toxic or negative habits that were passed on to you. Making sure you make time to be undistracted when spending time with them is necessary. Taking the time to know and get connected in what they like and enjoy is necessary. Remember, from experience, especially as a single mom, men look at how well you connect and treat your kids before pursuing you.
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A Relationship With Family (or Friends)
Your relationship with family is a two-fold area. Family is one of those areas that can be a place of joy for some people or a place of frustration. Family can be abundant or can be non-exist to the point you create a family with friends and church. Whatever your situation is, family is important. Your family, whether parents, extended family, or chosen family, is your first practice at relationships.
In my experience, my family has been great, but there were times where I didn’t want anything to do with my family at all. But not talking about or communicating your challenges with them will leave things unchanged, so addressing these issues one individual at a time will have you experiencing family in a whole new way.
The same goes for friendships and spiritual family as well. This type of relationship is all about your inner circle, and however, that’s defined. Remember, a guy will always assess how you are with your family and the characteristics of your family when pursuing you.
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A Relationship With Your Purpose
Last but not least, having a relationship with your purpose is so crucial. I spent a good chunk of my 20’s winging it. I was constantly relying on others’ opinions and what they thought I should be doing with my life. Now that I’m climbing the 30’s mountain, I have found myself in a place where I’ve climbed a mountain that I no longer want to climb and find that it is not in the way of my purpose.
And don’t get me wrong, I’ve put in the work to find my true purpose and the passions connected to it. I had to really work on my self-love, tap into my memories, and even involve some family and friends. But most importantly, I had to consult the one who created me and placed me on this earth, God.
It took a while, but once I realized what it was, my eyes opened, and I was able to see life differently with a greater sense of direction. So if this is an area that you have not spent time in or do not know anything about, I encourage you to seek God and/or a life/purpose coach to help you find out.
Because just like we prefer men with goals and ambitions, the type of man God wants you to have will be curious about your purpose and how you two can come together to achieve y’all mission together.
All in all,
Relationships are so essential in this life. But they can be detrimental if we place them out of order. So I will leave you with these questions:
- Which relationships are more valuable to you?
- What steps are you going to take today to start nurturing those relationships in a healthy way?
If you need additional support navigating your values and priorities around relationships, I encourage you to reach out for a Confidence Chat.
And if you want to stay connected with resources for confidence building. Join the new Women Seeking Confidence Facebook Group here.
