Comparison is an attack from the enemy and entrapment of the mind. There I said it! Comparison kills your confidence and damages the strength of your relationships. Most of the time, as women, we’ve been doing it so long that we become accustomed to comparing and not feeling the effects of it until later on. But I am here to tell you today…
LET IT GO!
This week, I am starting a series that will finish us out until the new year called THE CONFIDENCE KILLERS. In this series, I will unpack the top confidence killers and provide scriptures and practical steps to eliminate each killer once and for all.
Being a woman has allowed me to experience most of these and some I have learned from other people’s stories. But one thing I do know from women I have chatted with in the past and currently, everyone wants to improve their confidence no matter where they are on the spectrum.
What is comparison?
The formal definition of comparison is considering or estimating the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people.
Which is understandable. However, as the human race, we can take it to the extreme.
The comparison that we are doing and seeing a lot today consists of determining who’s better o worst, creating enemies with no origin, and creating division between opportunities and people that could benefit us.
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
Now, everyone has their own opinions around why we compare ourselves to others. However, I have witnessed a few reasons and lived out some myself. The reasons are as follow:
- Societal Pressure Culture (everyone trying to one-up each other and cancel each other)
- Low Confidence (not accepting something about ourselves, glorifying another)
- Social Media (especially in the professional/business and relationships realm)
- Family Pressure (why you can’t be like your brother or cousin? I wish I had a mom/dad like yours!)
- Human Nature (it’s in our nature)
- Dissatisfaction (frustrated with where we are in life)
- Lack of Gratitude (focus on what’s wrong more than what’s going right)
Now don’t get me wrong, comparing is sometimes good, like where you came from to where you are now for personal growth—or comparing a job for better benefits and fulfillment—or comparing items at the grocery or clothing store. All that is a good comparison, but we have to cease to compare ourselves when it comes to each other.
How does comparison impact our relationships?
Comparison affects you, and it affects the people you are connected to. In relationships, the focus should be between you two and God. However, when we allow ourselves to fall into the comparison trap, we will invite doubt, discontentment, division, and a slew of other evil thought processes to come in a chip away at our confidence in our relationships.
Some of our greatest relationship struggles can be tied to a moment of comparison that broke down the trust, the desire to work hard, and maintains a healthy relationship. Comparison can also break down communication, especially when comparing someone to another. We begin not appreciating a person for who they are, tearing down the person or abandoning our commitment to deposit into their love bank. In all that, losing the true essence of a healthy yet intimate connection with those we say we love – togetherness.
If you have found yourself feeding your comparison tendencies and want to overcome this confidence killer, I share a few resources below to help you get started. However, the only way to stop comparing is to train yourself to STOP doing it. When the opportunity arises, choose not to.
5 Scriptures To Support Why We Need To Stop Comparing Ourselves To Others
Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!
2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT
Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else
Galatians 6:4 NLT
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves
Philippians 2:3 NLT
The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
Matthew 7:2 NLT
You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.”
Exodus 20:17 NLT
4 Bible Study Plans To Help Break Free From The Comparison Trap
(YOU VERSION BIBLE APP)
- Break Free From Comparison A 7 Day Devotional By Anna Light
- The Comparison Game 3-Day Devotional By Students Standing Strong
- Comparison 3-Day Devotional By Pamela Cruz
- Comparison Trap 5-Day Devotional By Sanda Stanley and North Point Resources
All in all, I hope you’ve realized the harm of comparison and the changes needed to reach your confidence goals.
If you need additional support on combating the comparison trap,
I encourage you to reach out for a Confidence Chat.
If you are looking for a space to grow with other women pursuing better relationships with themselves, join our community of Confident Christian Single Mom Facebook Group of other single moms choosing to thrive.
And if you are not a single mom but want to stay connected with resources for confidence building. Join the new Women Seeking Confidence Facebook Group here.
