Health Month continues, and I feel like this week is one of my favorites. This week, we are focused on mental/emotional health. And if you have been around long enough, these two aspects of health I talk about often. We have felt so much in so little time with little control over our experiences—all the reasons why I encourage you to honor your feelings in 2021 more than ever.
What is Honor?
Some people often see the word Honor as this prestigious word and never genuinely grasp the understanding of what it encompasses. Honor is all about:
- Love
- Respect
- Attention
- Recognition
- Understanding
Of course, please do all these things in regards to your feelings. But I want to leave this disclaimer. HONORING YOUR FEELINGS IS HUGE FOR YOUR MENTAL/EMOTIONAL HEALTH. BUT IT’S YOUR ABILITY TO MASTER ITS AUTHORITY IN YOUR LIFE THAT IS THE TRUE ACHIEVEMENT.
Furthermore, your honor should not be only designated to the feel-good emotions that everyone enjoys, but those feelings that are not as comfortable that show when we least expect it.
It’s okay to not be okay. -April Nowlin
Beware Of Misinterpretations
In my early years of faith, I felt an unspoken rule never to be sad, angry, fearful, or anxious. I heard the scriptures in the context of do’s and don’ts rather than through understanding and love. So there were many scriptures that I had misread for so long, not allowing for a proper experience of navigating unpopular emotions. Here are a few:
- “Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.” 2 Corinthians 6:10
- “Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9
- “For God gave us a spirit, not of fear but power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7
- “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6
- “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19
There’s Truth In Reality
They all seemed like they were against those emotions. But, if you dig a little deeper between them, you will see that God confirms that you will have these emotions, but he gives each of us a way out. So here are some of the revelations I received from the above scriptures:
- I am experiencing sadness and sorrow, but joy is my primary mood. Sadness is only for a moment.
- Try to avoid anger, but don’t allow it to get comfortable in your heart when it does come. Instead, choose to walk away, be wise.
- You are human, and your flesh will be drawn to fear, but your original design did not include all the tools to master it with love and discipline.
- Avoid allowing your worries to become who you are. Instead, let God know what you need and talk to him about what matters,r not what is perceived of the future.
- Fear does not survive in a loving environment. If you continue to struggle with anxiety or experience it, we haven’t fully understood or experienced the nature of which the love is being given. It’s time to re-evaluate the nature/atmosphere of your relationships.
However, often our interpretations are centered around our situations and things we need to learn to grow through them, but the principles are always the same.
Honor Your Feelings: The Culture
I can’t chalk it all up to misread scriptures. My growing up played a significant part, and the culture we live in does not precisely praise the display of emotions and feelings. But I am proud to say that we are slowly turning it around as we are getting more discussion and conversation of mental health and reducing the stigma of having it. Especially after this pandemic, everyone is suffering from some mental/emotional anguish.
Honoring your feelings is not necessarily an easy thing to do, especially when you’ve been in the habit of suppressing them. But it’s so necessary to reduce your emotions’ impact on your life.
Emotions as an energy
I’ve heard people refer to feelings and emotions as energy. As energy comes, the building up of it can lead to an overwhelming takeover. And to be honest, your thoughts can often play a large part in the type of energy that presents itself.
I won’t give you a long-drawn-out psychology lesson, but I want you to know that your emotions are innate, but how they affect you and those around you depends on how you choose to respond and act on those feelings. Many of our past relationship challenges started with thoughts and emotions, which eventually triggered us to react in a way that changed the dynamic of our relationships. So this is very important to understand and honor your feelings.
God and My Feelings
I know I have been in many challenging relationships, both romantically and within my family. However, I found the light at the end of the tunnel. And yes, it’s God.
Since re-dedicating my life, God has shown me all the unhealthy places inside me through the mirror of scripture and my daughter.
I was seeing traits in her that I despised in myself has been so humbling—knowing darn well that I would never treat my daughter in the way that I have treated myself for years. And in that statement, I realized that I didn’t honor myself like I did everyone else. This way of living has led to my many bouts and battles with anxiety and depression. But at that moment, my journey to honoring myself and my feelings began.
How To Honor Your Feelings in 2021
Below I share a few tips that worked for me, but everyone has their unique path. Use them as you see fit in your life.
Spend time with them
This one may seem like a no-brainer, but you’ll be surprised at how many people, including myself, admit that they rarely make the space to sit with their emotions.
Being a person you would call highly sensitive, I knew I experienced life differently than most people at a very young age. However, it took over 20 years later and a stranger to open my eyes to my uniqueness through this book I share below. So, if you consider yourself a “very emotional person,” I would advise you to pick this one up.
Trust your gut
Trusting your gut is a big one because most emotions are either felt in the chest or the stomach area. My therapist was a big help to me in understanding the dynamics of our feelings, and it’s the connection to our bodies.
Frequently, we know what we need to do or make a decision, but we act out of fear and second guess everything our gut, intuition, or third eye (whatever you want to call it) is telling you. For some, you may be feeling turning in your stomach when this happens.
Create the lines between yourself and the situation
The situation will only be as good as you are. So if you engulf yourself in a position that does not agree with your feelings or emotions, then that’s a recipe for trouble.
Therefore, always take time to create boundaries between you and anything so that your feelings can be address, and then you will be able to move forward with a clear mind in the situation. When your emotions and circumstances get too entangled, then nothing gets achieved positively. Now, I will share a simple formula to manage and honor your feelings like a boss!
How To Manage Your Emotions
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- Acknowledge: Make room for your feelings and emotions. Not asking you to give them your Master bedroom (authority), but allow your mental and emotional shifts have a place in your house (self)
- Ask: Ask yourself, what do you need at that moment? What is happening internally as a response to the external? Is what I am feeling a fair reaction to the situation?
- Analyze: Would I consider this emotion positive or negative? Take time to reflect before reacting to allow for thorough processing and deciding whether these emotions are vital to you or lead you in the direction you desire to be mentally and emotionally.
- Address: If emotions and thoughts are considered harmful, unpleasant, and do not align with Phillipians 4:8, we know it’s time to address those emotions, whether it be to have a conversation with the other parties involved, take some much needed alone time, or began the process to challenge and transform those thoughts and feelings into positive through outlook and perspective.
- Adjust: Lastly, we must go forth with awareness and understanding to continue to minimize the impact of the pleasant or unpleasant emotions serving you in the future. Be ready to cast down any thought or feeling that stays in your way.
All in all,
I may not be a trained psychologist or anything with a license. But I know one or two things about emotions and how they can impact your life and relationships. However, I see the empowerment that can come from mastering them and navigating them with grace and confidence.
If you feel like your emotions and feelings right now are all over the place, with significant trauma that hasn’t been addressed relationally, I encourage you to seek professional counseling.
But if you are in a place where you have done the inner work but need guidance on navigating your thoughts and honor your feelings within your relationships, I encourage you to check out these additional resources:
- Give Yourself Grace: 3 Reasons Why There’s Nothing Wrong With You!
- How To Be More Vulnerable As A Single Mom With These 4 Tips
- Keep Fighting Single Moms in 2023: Overcoming Struggles Of Single Motherhood
- 50 Bible Verses To Help Combat Fear, Anxiety, And Worry (printable included)
- How To Live In Daily Gratitude As A Single Mom
You can also join the Women Seeking Confidence Facebook group for a community of women headed in the same direction as you in regards to growing emotionally:
