We are in the last week of health month at Made New Mama. And this week has been all about how we see ourselves. We’ve dabbled in body image, self-esteem, and how confident we are in the physical realm of health. Most conversations have been around general topics, but today I want to take some time to explore how our self-esteem can be affected when you become a mom.
Do you remember that old saying or old wives tale?
Baby girls steal away their mothers‘ beauty.
What a toxic saying!!!
But some of us unconsciously believe it too.
My Self-Esteem As A Mom
When I first had Avah, I went through an ugly phase with nothing to do with her. The truth is my body was changing, transforming, and I became incredibility busy trying to keep her alive and well.
During a short period when she was like one or two years old, I had this burst of esteem. I was bringing sexy back and felt myself again. But then that soon dwindled after another failed relationship.
I found myself only feeling good about how I looked when I was in a particular situation or someone else confirmed it, which was not a good place to be, mainly as a person who struggles with anxiety and desires calm consistency.
The Root of Self-Esteem
According to Psychology Today,
Self-esteem can influence life in myriad ways, from academic and professional success to relationships and mental health. Self-esteem, however, is not an immutable characteristic; successes or setbacks, both personal and professional, can fuel fluctuations in feelings of self-worth.
So don’t expect self-esteem, self-worth, and your body image to be the same at all points in your life. Usually, self-esteem is developed in childhood and changes well into later years.
Self-esteem is a confidence that you have in your worth and abilities, and it’s sometimes synonymous with self-respect. Are you respecting who you are and what you bring to the table as a mom?
But if you don’t get anything else from this section, understanding that it changes as life comes and goes. So it’s perfectly normal for your self-esteem to be affected by your journey in motherhood.
I have had some highs and lows with my self-esteem, but I am glad to say that, right now, it has been more vital than ever. I still doubt myself from time to time and feel like an imposter, but I focus on staying rooted in my truth and what God has already said about me.
In the next session, I will share three ways I have improved my self-esteem as a mom. I hope they can help you boost your confidence as well.
Three Simple Ways You Can Do Improve Your Self-Esteem As A Mom
Talk To Yourself
Whenever I talk to myself, people automatically associate it with insanity, but it’s beneficial. We all talk to ourselves regularly, whether we believe it or not. Everyone has inner conversations, but the content and quality are where this simple way comes in. Most moms like us have an inner critic who has followed us from young girls to now.
When I refer to talking to yourself, I mean when was the last time you called yourself beautiful. When was the last time you complimented yourself? One way to get out of looking for the approval of others is by approving yourself? We think that affirmations don’t work and are a bunch of nonsense. But when you think about it, we need a lot of affirmation regularly. Our job is to make sure we’re getting it from the right source.
Two things you can do:
- Use God’s Words and Scriptures as affirming statements
- Think of who you want to be and goals you want to reach, create ” I Am” statements.
Honor How You Were Made
This has always been the missing piece in my journey with my self-esteem. As I struggled with body image challenges, I never knew what it felt like to truly love, respect, and appreciate the body that God gave me. I saw the celebrities with big butts and breasts, and I am over here still looking like a teenage boy. The funny thing, I thought I would get curvier when I had my daughter. Life determined that was a lie! I came out smaller than before.
God has laid out scriptures in his word that has helped me learn to honor my body better. In return, that not only changed my few of self but increased self-esteem and confidence big time. I still have days where I want to compare, as we all do. But His Word is our strength where we struggle and fall short. Here are some of the scriptures that helped me, and I hope they help you as well in this area:
- Psalm 139:14
- 1 Peter 3:3-4
- I Samuel 16:7
- Genesis 1:27
- Proverbs 31:10-31 ( My Favorite! Especially verse #29)
Choose One Thing Each Week You Can Do To Spice Up Your Appearance
This way is very self-explanatory. Choose one thing that you will wear, put on, or use to spice up your appearance. I recently used red lipstick to spice up my appearance, and I would say I loved it. I have self-conscience about my lips and nose all my life, but I knew my best feature was my smile. The lipstick was a hit last week! Look at my picture below.
You may not be a make-up girl; I wasn’t either. But it doesn’t hurt to try new things.
I know that scriptures say not to worry about what clothes you would wear. So I am not telling you to worry about what you are putting on each day cause I definitely don’t. We have enough to be responsible for already. All I am saying is add something new to what you already do. It takes the pressure off of you to be someone you’re not. Add something that interests you or that you forgot about over the years.
Next week, I will be showing more shoulder and back. Make sure you are following me on Facebook and Instagram.
All in all,
When we have our children, our lives are turned upside down. But that doesn’t mean that your self-esteem as a mom and confidence have to go into disarray as well. Choose today to honor you and your uniqueness.
If you are in a place where you are having some challenges with how you feel about yourself, your worth, and how you look, I encourage you to reach out for a chat.
If you are looking for a space to grow with other women pursuing stronger relationships with themselves, join our community of Confident Christian Single Mom Facebook Group of other single moms choosing to thrive.
