Hey loves! I am writing this post out of vulnerability because my therapist has been trying to get me to embody the true meaning of vulnerability. So I wanted to remind you to give yourself grace because there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and to stop saying it to yourself.
- 1 3 Reasons Why There’s Nothing Wrong With You and To Give Yourself Grace
- 1.1 Lean on God for grace
- 1.1.1 There’s nothing wrong with you as a being because there is something wrong with how this world views women like you.
- 1.1.2 There’s nothing wrong with you because you are learning and growing like everyone else.
- 1.1.3 There’s nothing wrong with you because God doesn’t make mistakes.
- 1.1.4 Choose Bravery.
- 1.2 Chyna Nicole
- 1.3 Related
- 1.1 Lean on God for grace
The Blessing of Therapy
In my last therapy session, the fact that I am tough on myself came up. My therapist told me I needed to give myself grace because “there’s nothing wrong with who you are and where you are in life.”
It was painful to swallow the fact that I, too, was abusing myself, being hypercritical, and making myself feel like I was worthless.
So I cried, cried, and cried until I could feel the release and eventually let out a big scream. My lack of grace for myself has kept me hemmed up and locked in bondage by my thoughts and actions.
I write these blog post and share tips, but I struggle to be vulnerable with others in the way I truly desire to be because I wouldn’t allow myself to.
If you’ve played sports or watched sports, you since those championship pep talks in the team huddle where the consensus was it’s either all or nothing and no room for errors.
Yeah, I realized that I have been giving myself that type of talk regularly for years, even though it was only for small things, such as mustering up the motivation to make dinner for the night. It wasn’t life or death; it was just dinner.
So hard on myself.
The Things That Cause Us To Not Give Ourselves Grace
I came across a self-led exercise that helps you in the realm of radical responsibility to help me break free from hiding behind my masks. Here are a few truths that came out of finally stretching myself to be vulnerable and to move toward giving myself grace:
- I expect so much out of myself.
- I have a vision in my head, and I won’t let it go.
- I trust no one, including myself.
- I never want people to see something in me that they can reject.
- I associate every opposition with a direct hit to my ego.
- I want to prove everyone wrong.
- I desire to be in a place of importance in someone’s life.
- I allow what others accept and approve of me be my goal.
- I care way too much about other people’s needs.
- I struggle to believe in things I can not see or do not see the evidence. I always need a sign.
- I’ve taken risks, and it didn’t go as well.
- I instead work toward an inauthentic goal than to be who I am.
- I have an ill definition of what being productive is.
- I do not want to struggle and sit in pain again, mentally and financially. I do not want to be a single mom statistic.
- I’ve allowed experiences to direct all my responses to specific situations and circumstances.
- I live in fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of being counted on.
The list can go on….you may have seen yourself in one of the bullet points too. But I will pause for this moment because it’s not a list to condemn you. It’s a list that shows you that you are human and living a life that is not new under the Son.
In this moment is an opportunity to make you aware and bring the things that have plagued your heart and mind to the forefront so we can finally deal with them together and move forward. It’s a call to the authority inside of you to give yourself grace through God’s grace.
Realizing I was a part of the problem.
Despite the validity of many of my concerns and the responsibility I took for having them, they were more detrimental than safe. I thought if I held on to those thoughts and mindsets, it would provide safety to success and fulfillment.
I definitely lied to myself. The pathway to true success and expertise is through vulnerability. Getting uncomfortable and getting out of the safe zone is where I will find those things I truly desire, which are healing, freedom, and abundant living.
And to get through those vulnerable, risky moments, I don’t need another drill sergeant or critical judge. I need a graceful me that allows me to feel, grow and learn despite the discomfort.
3 Reasons Why There’s Nothing Wrong With You and To Give Yourself Grace
Mistakes are inevitable. I repeat mistakes are unavoidable. Life is challenging, whether at the top or barely getting by.
Here’s a quick reminder:
- You are human and not a perfect robot.
- You don’t always make the right choices or say all the right things.
- You belong here because you have a heart of gold to share with others through God’s purpose for your life.
There is nothing wrong with you as a spirit being, but you are forever evolving and growing in your mind, will, emotions, and body.
No one comes into this world with it altogether. There is always a pruning and a process happening in the lives of everyone around you.
So it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to need help. It’s okay to lean on other people.
Let go your vision for yourself and reframe how you respond to situations.
It’s time to be open, honest, and transparent with yourself. Give Yourself Grace. You need it!
Lean on God for grace
Outside of my journey of reframing my responses to challenges with human connection and respect, I realized that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Our self-critical nature is so much bigger than us. We have a God fighting our battle on our behalf, not to let the expectations of the world defeat the call and purpose of our life.
For this reason, I want you to say, “ I am in this world and not of this world.” If it were hard for you to say that, then I would encourage you to review Ephesians 1 & 2 so you can remember who you are and say that statement with your chest next time. But first, let me give you 3 excellent reasons to stop being hard on yourself, give yourself grace, and understand that there’s nothing wrong with you.
Here are the three reasons:
There’s nothing wrong with you as a being because there is something wrong with how this world views women like you.
We live in a world that instead tear us down rather than build us up in the things of God. We live in a world still in the mindset of feast or famine.
Don’t get me wrong; there are people out there cheering and rooting for you. But at large, this world is designed to make you second guess who you are and keep you focused on never being enough. Working and toiling to be someone you are not to fit into this world.
Inauthenticity stops here, and grace and mercy start now.
There’s nothing wrong with you because you are learning and growing like everyone else.
Where did we get this idea that everyone is perfect and already made it while we always have to fix ourselves? This thought process is detrimental to your ability to be present and grateful for your journey.
Yes, life is hard, and it seems like a never-ending battle. However, that doesn’t mean the next person next to you isn’t having those same challenges. Most people won’t speak of what they’re struggling through. It is only the vulnerable few that will speak up, share their testimony and live their life out loud.
It’s time for you and me to join the crew. #teamvulnerability
There’s nothing wrong with you because God doesn’t make mistakes.
When we constantly want to fix ourselves in areas that God has not asked us to work through with Him, we indirectly tell God that He made a mistake when creating us.
God sent the Holy Spirit to help us and guide us in the areas that He desires for us to grow. However, we spend so much time contemplating over parts of ourselves that WE want to change while God looks at us, delighting in those unique parts.
It’s time to let go and let God. Give yourself grace and let God show you who you are. There’s nothing wrong with you.
If you can not muster up the strength to give yourself grace, remember that a God is sufficient in your weakness.
- By His grace, you receive the help you need. (Hebrew 4:16)
- By His grace, you are forgiven. ( Matthew 6:14)
- By His grace, you are given peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)
- By His grace, you’re not consumed. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
- By His grace, you’ve been redeemed and restored. (1 Peter 5:10, Romans 3:23-24)
- By His grace, you are saved. (Ephesians 2:8)
- By His grace, you have a testimony. (Acts 20:24)
Here is my favorite bible verse about God’s grace:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
We believe in and serve a gracious God. And in the words of King David, “His praise will always be on my lips.” You lack nothing when you are His.
All in all,
I felt the weight of writing this post as I have received entries on my questionnaire of women listing off everything that is going wrong with them, but very few will talk about their strengths.
As women and as single moms, we can be so hard on ourselves. Feeling as though we should always be doing something, being an asset, or even feeling that we are falling behind. Blaming ourselves for everything that happened in our lives. Even though some things we play a part in, life happens to us also.
Well, I want to tell you, as I am telling myself, that you are not falling behind, you don’t have to strive so hard to hide your flaws, and the right people will respect and connect with who you are.
Choose Bravery.
As I am on this journey of bravery this year, I hope you are on one too. It’s time to be vulnerable, give yourself grace, and live as though there is nothing wrong with you, authentic.
Don’t spend your life trying to meet a standard from the approval of others that leads you nowhere. Instead, be your standard and allow yourself to roll with the humps and bumps of life with a smile and good intentions in your heart.
Lastly, show yourself some love the way you make allowance for others because you can only be as good to others as you are good to yourself. If you need help getting started, ask God to direct your steps and walk with you on this journey. I have asked Him for myself, and I know if I am in Him, I can’t go wrong.
In need of support navigating grace for yourself? Check out these supportive blog posts:
- Understanding Your Identity In Christ With These Printables
- How To Be Brave: Uncover Your Strength With God In 3 Ways (+Free Scripture Study)
- 1 Simple Way To Heal From Being Misunderstood
- 50 Questions To Ask When Dating Yourself : Journal Prompts Included
- 12 Tips To Begin Leading Yourself In Life
- 5 Powerful Prayers To Forgive Yourself
You can also join the Women Seeking Confidence Facebook group for a community of women headed in the same direction as you in regards to growing in confidence:
