I had the time of my life this past weekend speaking on a topic that has plagued my life for years. During the Single Moms Of Faith Virtual Conference by Chere of @faithcoffeeandakid, I received the honor of co-presenting the “Stop Being A Yes Girl” session this past Saturday. Even though most of it was a blur, I am so grateful for the opportunity to share my message. Being a Yes Girl is so exhausting but with the power of NO, you can take back control of your time, energy, and life.
Below I share a quick outline of what was covered in my presentation. So if you weren’t able to see the session live, you can read up on what was covered here.
Stop Being A Yes Girl
Making room for what you want to do while saying “NO” to what no longer serves you.
Are you a Yes Girl???
- Ever find yourself burnout and/or stressed from all the things on your to-do list and calendar?
- Ever find yourself doing things you don’t want to do or agreeing to commitments that you don’t find enjoyable?
- Feeling as though you are giving and caring to the point of being drained?
- Agreeing to things to keep the peace while starting a war inside yourself?
What exactly is a Yes Girl???
A “Yes Girl” is a overwhelmed woman and/or mother that struggles with saying “no” and finds setting boundaries for herself and others difficult.
She goes through life pleasing other people, putting her needs on hold, and putting herself into a cycle of internal warfare.
Yes Girls are usually kind-hearted givers. However, they have allowed others and situations to be the decision makers in their life.
She is often in search of balance but finds herself in situations that do not lead her to the true peace she’s looking for.
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15
What’s feeding your Yes Girl?
What still has a hold on you? What needs to submit to your vision? Take some time to reflect and really find the root cause of your confidence in saying what you really want to say.
- Rejection and not being accepted in your truth
- Fear
- People Pleasing
- Comparison with other women
- Fixation on Ideals- The perfect mom or perfect life.
Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one. Matthew 5:37
Below I share my simple recovery process to help you start towards a path of healthy relationship and inner peace with yourself and with others.
How to start setting boundaries confidently
R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y Process
R- Recognize The Patterns
E- Establish Your Values And Priorities
C- Create Sustainable Boundaries
O- Open Your Mouth and Communicate
V- Value Your Time and Energy: Eliminate Drainers
E- Express Your “No” Simply and Frequently
R- Realize Your Opportunities of Yes
Y- Yoke yourself, Before You Wreck Yourself
Tips to remember….
- Overcome this with the Word, Keep God involved.
- Understand this is a journey.
- Don’t get serving others and people people confused … Read Acts 20:35 – Cheerful giver
- Be okay standing alone.
- Boundaries will allow the healthy relationships to find you.
- Saying no does not make you selfish.
- You were not meant to be supermom, just you.
- If you need help, ask for it.
- Don’t let world culture, define your God culture. Don’t be rude when setting your boundaries!
- Your decision to stop Yes Girl-ing, will not only help you but the generations after (your legacy).
Need a little musical motivation? Check out Yes Girl by Bae Miller
“I got you figured out, you need to have control. You think that I don’t know you, I know you, I know. Trying to tell you now, I’ve been doing what you want, but I won’t be your yes girl, no, not anymore.
Can see yourself in the “Yes Girl” daze? Need additional support to see your Yes Girl ways and start setting boundaries confidently?
Book a Boost Of Confidence mini-coaching session with me: HERE You’ll be able to ask your questions for more in-depth understanding and express your current confidence and/or boundary setting needs.
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I hope this post will bless at least one mama!
