“Oh, Lord! Please don’t let me be misunderstood” The first time I heard that Nina Simone song, I felt it. After a life of being misunderstood, I could feel the pain in every line of the song. With each new level of challenges, changes, and falling short, I have finally concluded that being misunderstood is a part of life. But the sweet silver lining is that there are people who will get you every detail, despite the not-so-pretty sides of your story. If you haven’t done so already, today, you will heal from feeling and being misunderstood once and for all.
Tired Of Being Misunderstood
I did a poll in the Women Seeking Confidence Facebook group to gauge how often people feel misunderstood. The majority said yes or sometimes, which means nobody ever thinks that people get them all the time.
Through my understanding of the concept, being understood is circumstantial because we are complex beings and are ever-changing and evolving. So the person we were 6 months ago can be completely different than who we are now. Like how when God makes you new in an instance with just the shifting of your thoughts and perspective.
But I get it! We crave; we desire someone who will understand us in our glory and our dysfunction. It’s a victory to have people in our life that will stick around through thick and thin, taking the time to understand our depths deeply and not make assumptions. I do get it!
And to live in a culture that only cares about people who only want you as a mirror of them or desire only to know the superficial, entertaining side of you can be frustrating. It’s time to get deeper with someone, if not others, than with the One who understands you the most, God.
Possible Reasons You Are Being Misunderstood
As I said, there can be many reasons you feel or are being misunderstood. One is that people are not interested in experiencing you on a deeper level, making room for you to confess your sins to them or even carrying another’s burdens. (Romans 12:10, Colossians 3:13, James 5:16, Galatians 6:2) This is why surrounding yourself with christ-minded individuals will help heal this wound right up.
Here are some others that you may be responsible for:
- Not sharing your deeper feelings, thoughts, or being vulnerable with others, sowing only enough for superficial connections.
- You only present yourself in a certain way, whether good or bad.
- You never share your side of the story or speak up on important topics.
- You desire acceptance to the point that you mask who you indeed are.
- You have to know the idea of who you are, your own identity.
Whether you think it’s your responsibility or not, there is a step of many steps to take to help you on your healing journey from being misunderstood.
The 1 Essential Step To Heal From Being Misunderstood Today
Step 1: “F” it all! (not that F-word)
Feel
Accept The Feeling Of Being Misunderstood
Understanding that even though you feel this way at the moment or you felt this way in the past, it does not have to be how you will experience relationships in the future. Accepting that due to either your lack of authority over your emotional wheel or someone else’s lack of compassion and empathy, you’ve ended up in a place that makes you feel misunderstood. Step away from carrying the baggage of these offenses longer than you have to. Today, declare that you’ve felt what you’ve felt, but it is not your reality or the truth. It is only a part of the process of this life.
Forgive
Forgive Those Who Have Misunderstood You In The Past
Forgiveness is a powerful tool that I believe we don’t utilize well. Forgiveness does not only free you from the traumas and wounds of your past, but it allows you to see every situation from each angle, including God’s view. It detaches you from the heaviness an offense brings and removes the imprisoned bars of your feelings and experiences.
Forgive those who have misspoken about you, mislabeled you, or even misinterpreted your words and actions toward them. Even if they were never to forgive you, you know that you have released your intentions and know that your missteps or there’s do not and will not define you.
Forget
Get Rid Of This Idea That Everyone Should Get Me
Not everyone will “get you.” I worked at this one hospital, and my boss said to me once, “I can’t figure you out. I don’t get you.” Instead of taking it as an opportunity to begin to educate her on who I was, I immediately took it as a punch in the gut, like something was wrong with me. In actuality, there was something unbalanced in me, and that was that I wasn’t sure and secure enough in myself to be able to articulate who I indeed was at that time. I was young in my career, feeling and flowing my way through, but I didn’t want her to know that.
So instead of getting to know myself well enough to communicate ‘ME’ to her, I just took it as an opportunity to make an excuse that people always misunderstand me and to distance myself. This idea that people should automatically know me magically, through telepathy, is immature and downright crazy. Forget this notion asap. Communicate yourself to others, and if you can’t, begin dating yourself today.
Free Yourself
Live Free From The Desire To Be Understood And Understand Who Gets All Of You
In this phase, you remove the responsibilities of others to know you and figure you out to the One who created you and lives in your body every minute of every day. God should be your primary source when you desire to be understood, accepted, and approved. Ephesians 1-2 should be your first stop to get free through your identity in Christ, and if you want to find someone with your quirks and shortcomings, I am pretty sure there is someone in the bible who dealt with your issues before you. Like me and my homies Noah and Paul.
Lastly, ensure you understand yourself before you hold others to that expectation. Date yourself, spend time in solitude, reflect on your past patterns and experiences, and find the commonality of your inner wiring. Once you do this, you will have more confidence communicating who you are to others, whether platonic or romantic, and see a major shifting your feeling misunderstood and people getting who you are.
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Bible Verses For When You Are Being Misunderstood
All in all, whether you are healing from fresh wounds or old scars, know that your future depends on how you will move forward with who you are, how God created you, and how you will show in the world to others. Being misunderstood is a moment that so many of us make an identity or a lifestyle. Choose today to know that you know that God sees you and understand you and has chosen you, flaws and all.
And if the world does not want to understand, that is their problem. As long as God’s truth of you is evident as well as you are secure in the many facets of you, then mere feelings are a fleeting thought. Truth is what sets us free! Choose to be free from the offense of being misunderstood today and heal the parts of you that have held you back from the confidence and healthy relationship with others that God desires for you.
If you need some added support, here are supportive scriptures to supplement healing the wounds of being misunderstood:
- Exodus 3:7
- Psalm 139: 3
- Psalm 139: 1-2
- 2 Timothy 2:19
- Jeremiah 12:3
- Jeremiah 1:5
- Isaiah 49:15
- Zephaniah 3:17
- Romans 8:38-39
You can also join the Women Seeking Confidence Facebook group for a community of women headed in the same direction as you in regards to growing in relationships:
