This weekend has been crazy for me. I had a social life, you all! And the 4-hour nap I took on Sunday spoke for itself. I went from being annoyed that I didn’t have much going on in my life to I can’t wait to get home. I finally have a social life as a single mom, though! Yay!
I don’t have the energy I used to have back in college. But I’m so glad I got out to mingle with ladies I haven’t seen in a while, celebrate others’ success, and laugh my butt off at the Real Comedians of Social Media show. This moment reminded me how much my social life has changed since becoming a single mom.
Challenges With A Social Life As A Single Mom
I don’t know how often I’ve heard some of my mom’s friends share that it’s so hard to make friends and be able to do something fun that doesn’t involve the kid(s).
Various reasons included:
- Availability of childcare support
- Difficulty connecting with other women
- Feeling invisible or isolated
All are valid, but when your reason becomes an excuse, you begin to believe more in the limitation than your desired outcome. Let’s dig deeper…it’s time to put our social barriers in their place.
Biblical Connection:
Everything is permissible for me, but not all things are beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything [and brought under its power, allowing it to control me]. -1 Corinthians 6:12
Most things you feel or are allowed to do is not always suitable for you or help you progress. Being aware of your thought processes and beliefs is crucial because there is a chance that they may be the very things limiting you from stepping out and reclaiming your social life back.
Below I share 5 specific strategies to help improve the social aspect of your life as a single mother and finally break down the barriers that have been holding you back from creating the social life you want this season.
How Do Single Moms Have A Social Life?
Your life is not over.
Do single moms feel lonely?
What do single moms need the most?
5 Tips for Tackling Your Social Life As A Single Mom
The unique culprit in this situation is your feelings and emotions. I believe we all, as single moms desire some social life, whether we are introverted or not. We are designed to crave connection with others for a greater purpose, some for good and some for evil. Know that your desire is never a burden to others because everyone deserves to enjoy life, including you.
Often, single mothers feel like they’re a burden to others or feel like getting back out socially is time-consuming and keeps them vulnerable with others. It takes a lot for some of us to ask for help even though we often need the support. We have to be able to acknowledge our thoughts and emotions but don’t give them power over our life decisions.
This one is a significant move because nowadays, you can’t go and tell what God says but not act on what God has stirred in you. Don’t feel like you have to be able to do everything that everyone else is doing. Determine what social events are more your style and stick with what you love. You can expand once your core leisure activities are established. Knowing your stage of life and most of us are out of college, raising kids by ourselves, and working hard to make ends meet. We should not be partying every night.
Focus on building your inner circle and maintaining those relationships for support.
The biggest challenge for most single mothers because we are in such demand with everything and often put our social lives on the back burner. Find three key people you can confide in, develop an authentic relationship with, or can provide support with childcare as needed. Make sure to nurture and place gratitude at the forefront of all interactions. Avoid manipulating or only calling when you need help. It will only work if you do.
Secure childcare options
This tip requires effort and digging deep into your inner circle, finances, and community resources. There are nanny options, family/friends that can help, gymnasiums, and churches in the community that have date nights where they will watch your kid(s) for a couple of hours. Never be afraid to have a conversation and ask questions about managing self-care.
Schedule your ” Me” times a month.
This is a big one I’ve been implementing, even though I got carried away this past month. You don’t always have to be social with many people around. This requires planning and strategizing well in advance to eliminate the feeling of overwhelm by the last escape. However, you need to make time to improve your relationship with yourself.
All in all,
The tips and strategies I shared in this post are not about giving you the cure to your social woes but empowering you to own your responsibilities in this area. Because we, as single mothers, often focus on what others aren’t doing for us rather than acknowledging our part in why our social life is not what we want.
