Honestly, raising a fivenager, I have developed a resistance, or you would call ‘tuning out’ of my daughter’s frequent whining episodes and periodic temper tantrums. Then one day, I was driving and thinking about parenting and other things, feeling myself getting worked up with heavy emotions, my mind going a mile a minute, and it hit me. I realized I was having a mommy tantrum, and I’ve probably been having them for years.
Mommy Tantrum
- Kicking
- Screaming
- Whining
- Hitting/Throwing Things
- Falling out on the floor
But what if I told you that outside of the kicking and screaming, they experience internal symptoms that we as adults, especially moms, share on a magnified level. The only difference between you and your children is that you have better control of your body (give or take).
Picture this:
You’re driving, minding your own business, headed to your next errand, thinking about the struggle you had with your daughter this morning. Or maybe you’ve been having struggles with your parents and their support, or an ex that doesn’t seem to get things right the way you want them. Or maybe God hasn’t answered a prayer you’ve been praying but having to go through the pruning that’s required, and then boom. You are in full temper tantrum mode.
For me, I often remember an offense or disappointment from earlier in the day or even last month that would send me on an emotional rollercoaster. I would be a mid-mommy tantrum with uncontrolled emotions without any sign of it on the outside. I was literally having an emotional meltdown in my car.
Reasons that may cause a mommy tantrum:
- Unresolved anxiety and depression
- Stress-induced events causing frustration, sadness, or anger
- Communication struggles that leave her feeling unheard and ignored
But there are different reasons for each tantrum; A great article from Psychology Today can help you better understand the concept.
I don’t feel like I know enough about it to give strategies to overcome them. However, I encourage you to become more aware of your thought processes when temper tantrums arise.
So if you read this and can remember a time when you experienced this, know that you are not alone. The next time your child has a tantrum, I encourage you to sit them down and share with them about yours. Let them know that it’s okay to feel a certain way, but it’s not okay to display it in that manner. And be transparent; let them know that you are working on it too, and overcome it together.
These actions are what I am doing with my daughter to connect and build intimacy. And it’s helping!
Takeaway
As moms, we focus on raising our children and teaching them how they should go, as the bible instructs. We try to help them understand their emotions and discipline our way into fewer tantrums. But make sure you are doing the same for yourself.
Make sure you are pouring the wisdom of the bible into your heart, making space for you to see and understand your own emotional state, and doing the necessary steps/disciplines needed to grow in your emotional maturity.
We all have this inner child that seems to be louder and louder as we get older. Maybe you were a kid that had temper tantrums often and was never met with empathy. Give yourself, your inner child, what you currently give your children, patience, and grace.
I did not write this post to condemn myself or you for our emotional instabilities.
My goal is only to let you know that you are not alone. Even the wisest, most put-together mom still has to attend to their inner child. And when frustration, guilt, manipulation, or anything rears its ugly head, remind yourself that you are growing. Each episode doesn’t define you; they alarm you.
God knows all your imperfect parts and He still cares, now that’s LOVE! – Chyna Nicole
If you have trouble navigating your emotions or causing struggles in your relationships, I encourage you to reach out for a breakthrough chat.
If you are looking for a space to grow with other women pursuing better relationships with themselves, join our community of Confident Christian Single Mom Facebook Group of other single moms choosing to thrive.
